Rules of rural michigan

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by fedupdon, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. fedupdon

    fedupdon New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2008
    Messages:
    307
    Rules of rural michigan

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    Subject: The Rules of Rural Michigan
    >>
    >>
    >> The Rules of Rural Michigan are as Follows:
    >>
    >> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
    >>
    >> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
    >>
    >> 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.'. No matter how
    >> slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Get out of the
    >> way!
    >>
    >> 4. To us they are cattle. Think of them as live steaks. They smell funny
    >> to you, but they smell like money to us. Get over it.
    >>
    >> 5. We're not impressed that you have a $60,000 car. We have $150,000 corn
    >> pickers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
    >>
    >> 6. Every person in rural Michigan waves at you. We think of it as being
    >> friendly. Try to understand the concept.
    >>
    >> 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
    >> in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it
    >> up to your ear at the time.
    >>
    >> 8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. We fry our fish after
    >> catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the
    >> corner bait shop.
    >>
    >> 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
    >> holiday held the 15th of November.
    >>
    >> 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
    >> age.
    >>
    >> 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you
    >> can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
    >>
    >> 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats
    >> (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt,
    >> pepper, hot sauce and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks
    >> in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
    >>
    >> 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
    >> over ice.
    >>
    >> 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
    >> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
    >>
    >> 15. College & High School Football is as important here as the Bears or
    >> the Bulls, & a dang site more fun to watch.
    >>
    >> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
    >> spooks the fish.
    >>
    >> 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
    >> Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education
    >> plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when
    >> they come home for the holidays.
    >>
    >> 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
    >> Marines. Plus we have the Michigan Militia!
    >> So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
    >>
    >> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't
    >> music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
    >> boxers. Refer back to #1.
    >>
    >> 20. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you
    >> got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet
    >> paper from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska! Worst case, you may
    >> have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades
    >> will have you out the next day.
    >>
    >> 21. I-94 goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.
    >>
    >> A true Michigander will understand this.
  2. JUNKKING

    JUNKKING Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,920
    Location:
    Just East of Pittsburgh PA
    I'm not from Michigan but I love that country life! No banging car stereos, no showing boxers, no crooked caps, NO DRUGS!!! AMEN. JUNK
  3. kutaho

    kutaho New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    1,851
    Location:
    Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest
    Pretty much the same in rural Oregon.
    It's good to be rural;)
  4. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,015
    Location:
    Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point
    I was a Michigander. Going back in July for a visit. Looking forward to it.:)
  5. Itzomi

    Itzomi New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    49
    I love it!! Makes me long for the country life which I've never experienced. I'm jealous!!
  6. tim.sr

    tim.sr New Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2009
    Messages:
    290
    Location:
    MI.
    Thank you. we love it on the farm .south west Michigan.
  7. Itzomi

    Itzomi New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    49
    Seriously, I'm dying to leave California. It's all I know, but I don't feel like I belong here. The only thing is, I'm afraid of tornadoes (never seen one) and bad weather (lots of snow - not familiar with it) or humidity, which I hear is awful. Weather-wise, this is paradise, but the people can make it a living hell. Quite frankly, I'm tired of the rude illegal immigrants - and the legal ones - who are turning this once-fine state into a third world country. Boy, I could g on...I'm getting bitter the older I get...

    Michigan... Must get cold, eh? I bet the people are really nice. Man, I gotta get outta here...
  8. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Messages:
    4,357
    Location:
    A wretched hive of scum and villiany
    Don't feel special, this part of NC is flooded with illegals:mad::mad:
  9. 45nut

    45nut Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2006
    Messages:
    3,470
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    Texas, need I say more??? :eek: :eek: :eek: :D We have so many, now we're exporting them to many other states. :D
  10. Itzomi

    Itzomi New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    49
    NC (your part, anyway) is flooded with illegals, too?? That's so sad!!!!!
  11. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Messages:
    4,357
    Location:
    A wretched hive of scum and villiany
    Man, you can have them back, we don't want them:p:p

    Yep. Has been for the past few years. There's a local company that makes fire extinguishers where at least 80% of the workforce is composed of illegals. The really bad part is that this place has a DoD contract!! I worked there for about 10 months. Generally 55-60 hours per week but the pay was so low that I still couldn't keep all my bills paid. But the illegals got paid more right off the bat. They got regular raises too while I couldn't even get one raise that was promised me when I started. The illegals would mess up equipment, and it was ok. An American messed up equipment and they got written up on the spot. An american sends a friend there looking for a job, most of them get turned away. An illegal has a couple three of his buddies show up one morning and they're working before lunchtime. This isn't the only place around here like that either. A few months ago a local company got busted by ICE for hiring illegals. The company in question makes parachutes for DoD.

    What makes it so bad, there was a local Chinese buffet. It was a really great place to eat. Best one around. Always had really high scores on health inspections too. Well ,they started hiring illegals to work in the kitchen. Their health scores took a nosedive and the quality of the food dropped. The place is now shut down. I notice that any restaraunt that employs illegals generally has low health inspection scores.

    They clog up the roads with their no driving butts, they clog up the ERs when they get the sniffles, they are always at the welfare office getting free handouts. They push and cut in line. The local flea markets are choked with them. They always talk too loud because they assume noone can understand them. When you say somethign to them they pull the "no habla" crap. When you get behind one at the grocery store, you see them with two ro three heaped up carts of food and they always whip out either a food stamp card or a wad of $100s to pay for it.

    Wow, talk about thread drift:p:D
  12. Itzomi

    Itzomi New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    49
    BCJ, I feel your pain!!! heck, I don't even know where to start. I have to go offline, but I may be back tomorrow to continue. But you mentioned ERs being crowded by illegals with the sniffles. We had a hospital shut down because it went broke giving the illegals free health care. Now, the other hospitals have to deal with the extra burden. When my parents were still alive and needing hospital care, there were times when they'd have to be kept in ICU for a while because all the beds were full.
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