selling bibles

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by fedupdon, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. fedupdon

    fedupdon New Member

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    Selling Bibles

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    A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several boxes of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

    At his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for \$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

    Jack, Paul, and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles, but he had serious doubts about Louie, a local farmer who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

    Poor Louis stuttered badly, but not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

    Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
    Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the \$200 I collected on behalf of the church."

    "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you."

    Turning to Paul the pastor said, "Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the church last week?"

    Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church and \$280 I collected."

    The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

    Apprehensively, the minister said to Louie, "Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles this week?"

    Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents.

    "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's \$3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door-to-door, in just one week?"

    Louie just nodded.

    "That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

    "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

    Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

    Impatiently, Peter interrupted "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

    "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you
    j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
  2. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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  3. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    Very Sad.

    [You see, alaflyguy has the same problem.....]


    At the same time, it does deserve a smile. :)
  4. Kieran McCaig

    Kieran McCaig New Member

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    It's not nice to pick on oh what the hell its funny I can't lie
  5. muddober

    muddober Active Member

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    I think that is a great joke. I told that same joke in a hunting camp many years ago and everybody laughed their butts off and then this one guy said; I I I did didn't thin think it was funny. I like fat jokes too and I look like I drink warm butter with every meal. Oh well!

    Ron
  6. kutaho

    kutaho New Member

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    My friend Big John thought it was pretty funny,
    And he stutters.
    But then again, he wasn't teased;):D

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