Shaky li' old ladies

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by berto64, Mar 4, 2008.

  1. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    7,511
    Location:
    Owyhee County, Idaho
    SHAKY LIL' OLD LADY

    The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll
    remember this story:

    A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front
    door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles
    the few feet across the store to the counter.

    Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support,
    stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddoo youu hhhave
    ddiilldos?"

    The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we
    do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."

    The old woman then asks: "Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk
    onne, tttenn inchessss llong a aand aabbout twoo inchess
    ththiick... aaand rruns by bbaatteries?

    The clerk responds, "Yes we do"

    She asks: " Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn
    ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"
  2. CampingJosh

    CampingJosh Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    5,521
    Location:
    Indiana
    Berto, I think you just raped my mind...
  3. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    10,833
    Location:
    Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a su
    A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
    'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

    'Actually, no,' he replied.

    'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

    'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?'

    'Yes.. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

    'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

    'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.'
  4. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas
    Well, there goes another keyboard! Just shot a mouth full of iced tea all over it. Thanks Chief and Berto! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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