Smart-Azz Answers

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Mar 1, 2006.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    Smart Ass Answer #5:

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

    his trench coat and flashed at her.

    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

    your stub."


    *****************


    Smart Ass Answer #4:

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

    she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

    "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


    *******************


    Smart Ass Answer #3:

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

    rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

    said.


    The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the

    cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

    ticket.


    *******************


    Smart Ass Answer #2:

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

    reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

    of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to

    the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

    gas."


    *******************


    #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................


    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

    "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

    tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury

    or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

    excuses whatsoever!"

    A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What

    would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

    sexual exhaustion?"

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was

    restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head

    and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

    other hand."
    :eek: :D :D :D
  2. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

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  3. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Now, dat's FUNNY!!!!!!!!
  4. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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  5. Country101

    Country101 Active Member

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    Dardanelle, AR
  6. Marlin T

    Marlin T Active Member

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    New Mexico
    She said, use your other hand :eek:

    Attached Files:

  7. wolfgang2000

    wolfgang2000 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2005
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    Location:
    Mountain Grove MO.
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