smile

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by nffritos, Jan 23, 2010.

  1. nffritos

    nffritos Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2009
    Messages:
    397
    Location:
    Reno Nv
    11:56 AM 1/23/2010

    Scotch with two drops of water.
    A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
    The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.. In fact, this one is on me."
    As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
    The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
    "Coming up," says the bartender.
    As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."
    The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
    "Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of
    curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
    The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."

    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
    and make love,' and you answer,
    'Pick one; I can't do both!'

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    Your friends compliment you
    on your new alligator shoes
    and you're barefoot.

    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    A sexy babe catches your fancy
    and your pacemaker opens the garage door,
    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    Going braless
    pulls all the wrinkles out of your face..
    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    You don't care where your spouse goes,
    just as long as you don't have to go along.
    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    'Getting a little action'
    means you don't need to take any fiber
    today.
    'OLD' IS WHEN....
    'Getting lucky' means you find your car
    in the parking lot.
    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    An 'all nighter' means not getting up
    to use the bathroom.
    AND
    'OLD' IS WHEN...
    You are not sure these are jokes
  2. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,385
    Location:
    Northwest GA
    These were jokes?
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