Stuff to Live By???

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 210
    (6/7/01 1:09:27 pm)
    | Del All Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Stuff To Live By?"


    Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and
    some days you're the statue.

    Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot
    at tax collectors, and miss.

    Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.

    Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
    recalled by their maker.

    Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse
    will happen to you for the rest of the day.

    If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a
    water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.

    If you're not part of the solution, be part of the
    problem!

    If you can't be kind, at least have the decency
    to be vague.

    If you can't beat your computer at chess, try
    kick boxing.

    If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat
    until caught. Then lie.

    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
    to serve as a warning to others.

    Never buy a car you can't push.

    Never eat yellow snow.

    Never put both feet in your mouth at the same
    time, because then you don't have a leg to
    stand on.

    Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your
    time and annoys the pig.

    The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so
    sleep late.

    There are very few personal problems that
    cannot be solved through a suitable application
    of high explosives.

    When everything's coming your way, you're
    in the wrong lane.



    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 213
    (6/7/01 1:36:17 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A little crude..posted as I received it. We might remember this
    proceedure sometime whenever we need a
    self-attitude-adjustment.

    Sharon
    -------------------------
    Are you aware of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole?

    It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a
    shitty outlook on life.

    If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't
    bring a tear to your eye.

    oneknight
    Moderator
    Posts: 1101
    (6/7/01 5:40:11 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Can't believe a woman such as yourself would post such
    trash...................funny as hell...............lmao!!!!

    Donna

    Edited by: oneknight at: 6/7/01 6:42:28 pm

    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 214
    (6/7/01 7:17:41 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Donna,

    I thought it was funny, too...
    And will remember it next time my disposition is
    not the best...will just put a smile on my face
    and think good thoughts......'cuz.....I don't wanna
    go thru the "proceedure"!!

    Sharon



    oneknight
    Moderator
    Posts: 1104
    (6/7/01 7:35:07 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Oh No!!!!!!!!!! We need to talk.......

    LarryJK
    Senior Chief Moderator III
    Posts: 104
    (6/7/01 8:02:27 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Funny...loved it!

    dap22
    Senior Chief Moderator II
    Posts: 684
    (6/7/01 8:07:09 pm)
    | Del
    ezSupporter
    Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Geez Sharon......great trash.....love it, especially the last statement about pulling a hair from your ass bringing a tear to the eye........ Is it true?

    Edited by: dap22 at: 6/7/01 9:25:48 pm

    Mithrandir
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 83
    (6/7/01 8:26:00 pm)
    | Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "anal optic nerve"



    YOU AWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD.... I just launched my coffee into it!!!!!!


    THAT... is going to the office with me tomorrow!!!!


    that was great!!!!



    out...
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch KEEPING THIS SERIOUS STUFF, FUNNY!!! Dec 31, 2013
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch FARTING THEIR LIVES AWAY!!!!! May 7, 2012
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch WILL I DOC...LIVE TO BE 80??? Feb 14, 2012
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch Live til 80? Jan 31, 2007
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch words to live by(??) Mar 4, 2003