Sumthin' ta think 'bout...always sharin'...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Smokin Guns, Feb 10, 2004.

  1. Do you really want pizza?

    fax 609-219-1660

    Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@ Which number are you calling from, sir?"
    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir! . This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
    Customer: "What? What do you recommend, then?"

    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."
    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"
    Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    Customer: (Speechless)

    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
    Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.

    Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
  2. JohnnyRobotic

    JohnnyRobotic New Member

    we laugh now . . .give it a few years

  3. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    If you think about it...why would we be any less shocked at what will be in a few years, than the level of shock the founding forefathers would experience if they could see todays world..?

  4. JohnnyRobotic

    JohnnyRobotic New Member

    I still would love to bring a saddle mounted 50 cal and another horse for ammo to the revolutionary war, maybe even a rocket or 2 just for show
  5. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    Even more powerful than that would be to bring one of the founding fathers forward in time to explain to the nitwits of today just exactly what "shall not infringe" means......

    Only problem is that if we actually were able to do that, i'm afraid that he would be speechless for a bit after seeing what this country has become....and i don't mean technologically either !

  6. grassguy

    grassguy New Member

    Feb 4, 2004
    south west florida
    tell me about it. i have a restraining order against me(keep in mind i have NO felonies or violent crimes) and they still won't sell me a shotty at wal-mart. i have to buy them from the paper or gun shows!