Terrorist Threat Levels

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Bruce FLinch, Apr 7, 2007.

  1. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

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    Threat levels Reports indicate that the English are feeling the pinch in

    relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level

    from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though security levels may be raised yet

    again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. Londoners have not been 'A Bit

    Cross' since 'the blitz' in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to a 'Bloody Nuisance.'

    The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was

    during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its

    terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two higher levels in

    France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The rise was precipitated by a

    recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

    paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of

    alert.

    Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly and Excitedly' to

    'Elaborate Military Posturing.' Two more levels remain: 'Ineffective Combat

    Operations' and 'Change Sides.'

    The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to

    'Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.' They also have two higher

    levels: 'Invade a Neighbor' and 'Lose.'

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

    threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

    These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy

    can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
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