The $2.00 Bill

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 22WRF, Jan 31, 2007.

  1. 22WRF

    22WRF Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,559
    Location:
    Pea Ridge, FL
    On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.
    In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.
    I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

    Me:
    "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go "

    Server:
    "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

    Me:
    "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

    Server:
    "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

    He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
    The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

    Server:
    "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

    Manager:
    "No. A what?"

    Server:
    "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

    Manager:
    "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."

    Server:
    "Yeah, thought so."

    He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

    Me:
    "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

    Server:
    "I don't know."

    Me:
    "See here where it says legal tender?"

    Server:
    "Yeah."

    Me:
    "So, why won't you take it?"

    Server:
    "Well, hang on a sec."

    He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

    Manager:
    "Doesn't he have anything else?"

    Server:
    "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change "

    Manager:
    "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

    Server:
    "What should I do?"

    Manager:
    "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

    Server:
    "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

    Manager:
    "Just tell him."

    Server:
    "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

    The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

    Me:
    "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

    Manager:
    "We don't take those, either."

    Me:
    "Why not?"

    Manager:
    "I think you know why."

    Me:
    "No really, tell me why."

    Manager:
    "Please leave before I call mall security."

    Me:
    "Excuse me?"

    Manager:
    "Please leave before I call mall security."

    Me:
    "What on earth for?"

    Manager:
    "Please, sir."

    Me:
    "Uh, go ahead, call them."

    Manager:
    "Would you please just leave?"

    Me:
    "No."

    Manager:
    "Fine -- have it your way then."

    Me:
    "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

    At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

    Guard:
    "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

    Manager (whispering):
    "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."

    Guard:
    "No kidding! What?"

    Manager:
    "Get this -- A two dollar bill."

    Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

    Manager:
    "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

    Guard:
    "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

    Manager:
    "No, the two dollar bill is."

    Guard:
    "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

    Manager:
    "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

    Guard:
    "Yeah."

    Security Guard walks over to me and......

    Guard:
    "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."

    Me:
    "Uh, no."

    Guard:
    "Lemme see 'em."

    Me:
    "Why?"

    Guard:
    "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

    At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

    I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

    Manager:
    "It's fake."

    Guard:
    "It doesn't look fake to me."

    Manager:
    "But it's a two dollar bill."

    Guard:
    "Yeah?"

    Manager:
    "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

    The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

    So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

    Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
  2. Marlin T

    Marlin T Active Member

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    Jul 8, 2005
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    7,888
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    New Mexico
    1995 or 1976 was a long time ago huh?
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2007
  3. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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  4. southernshooter

    southernshooter New Member

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  5. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

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    Central Texas Gulf Coast
    This was a joke, right.
  6. 22WRF

    22WRF Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,559
    Location:
    Pea Ridge, FL

    Just take a $2 in to your local fast food joint and give it try.

    Those are the places with pictures on th e register keys instead of numbers :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
  7. Crpdeth

    Crpdeth Active Member

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    Location: Location
    NEVER under estimate the ignorance of fast food restaurant employes :D


    Crpdeth
  8. gunfreakboy

    gunfreakboy New Member

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    Sep 20, 2005
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    Location:
    Buffalo, N.Y.
    It doesn't surprise me.
  9. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2003
    Messages:
    12,490
    Location:
    THE FORUM MASCOTT...
    This is my 2 cents worth...

    Americans expect cheap, fast, fresh food for the price of pocket change. An example would be McDonalds Double cheeseburger for $1.00. We seem to think that we should be able to get it this cheap even though the owners of these franchises pay upwards of a quarter of a million dollars to get their franchise rights. Then they're stuck buying the supplies for these franchises from the approved "mandated" suppliers and often get jabbed into buying sh*t they don't need to keep in compliance with the franchise contract. And since they're getting squeezed from two directions already...they are forced to hire morons to run their resteraunts because not only is it all they can afford, but its the only "type" of people who lack enough self respect to work for them in the first place....

    Those of you that think you should be served a five star burger by a highly educated person for pennies...all i can say is GET REAL !!!!!
    H*ll, i'm happy if they at least refrain from spitting on the darn thing... sheesh.

    mike
    gn
  10. Lead Lobber

    Lead Lobber Former Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Messages:
    965
    Location:
    Central California coastal area
    I love your story, 22WRF, it's better than "Who's on First?" In California, one can walk into most fast food outlets and ask for milk with their order, only to be stared at as if one had just stepped off a UFO. I wish I knew more Spanish, but "milk" to a Spanish speaker with sub par English skills is not understood.

    At which point I grab the nearest women and jiggle one of her breasts, while mooing. Just kidding :rolleyes: I do that a lot here, you know :)

    LL
  11. henry0reilly

    henry0reilly Member

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    Indiana
  12. Goody

    Goody Member

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    Jun 1, 2006
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    350
    About 15 years ago I went to the bank to make a deposit and purchase change for the store. After the teller counted the deposit, I gave her my change order, which she filled from her drawer. After she put the rolls of change on the counter and I was counting them I noticed something funny in 1 roll of nickles. These were the clear plastic rolls, and I pointed out that something wasn't right as one of the coins was a different color. She opened the roll and we looked at what turned out to be a $5 gold coin from around 1905, IIRC. She puts it back in her drawer and gives me another roll of nickles. I ask what she was gonna do with it, she says turn it in at the end of my shift. I ask how much did she want for it, she says as far as her drawer was concerned it was worth .05. I hand her a nickle and she gives me the coin. Gold was about $360 per oz at the time. I stopped at a coin shop on the way home and sold it for $90, a cool $89.95 profit on a nickle investment! I was happy and so was she, I guess.
  13. Sheesh, a $2.00 bill? I haven't seen one of those in years! Quick! Tear off the corner so it won't be unlucky! :D

    My son, who was in the Navy in the late 80s and early 90s, told me of an interesting experience he had with $2.00 bills. He was attending his "B" school for electronics in Chicago at the time. It seems there had been an increasing number of complaints registered with the Navy from the neighborhood surrounding the base where he was stationed. Most concerned the alleged "rowdyness" of the sailors when off base. There were calls from some merchants and townsfolk for the Navy to close the base and get out of Chicago. The commander of the base decided on a rather neat countermeasure. On payday, he ordered that all sailors be paid in the very uncommon $2.00 bills. It didn't take long for the merchants in the area to realize just how much the base was contributing to their own economic well being. Needless to say, the complaints ceased! :D
  14. armedandsafe

    armedandsafe Guest

    Every time I cash a paycheck, I always ask "Sues, Twos or Sacs?" I buy $100 of whatever they have and use them for lunches, tips and "goodkids." Right now I'm sitting here with 2 Susan B Anthoney coins, 28 Sacajewa coins and a bunch of twos.

    Nellis AFB paid in two dollar bills twice a year during the Korean wa...conf...shootemup. :D

    Pops
  15. rosierita

    rosierita Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,217
    Location:
    South Carolina
    i have a stack of $2 that i havent spent yet, for that very reason...
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