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The Ant and The Grasshopper

Discussion in 'The Fire For Effect and Totally Politically Incorr' started by Gunfyter, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    OLD VERSION:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
    summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    MODERN VERSION:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
    summer away.
    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
    demands
    to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
    others
    are cold and starving.
    CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
    grasshopper
    next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
    with food.
    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
    country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
    cries
    when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green.
    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where|
    the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then
    has
    the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
    Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
    that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
    for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
    Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
    retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to
    hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
    pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government
    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
    defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
    judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
    recipients... The ant loses the case.
    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
    the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
    the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
    The ant has disappeared in the snow.
    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
    now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
    peaceful neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
    :D :D :D
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    13,856
    Location:
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    I always enjoy that story when I see it.

    Then, I have to sit down being so nauseous since most of it is absolutely true to today's standards.

    :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
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