THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD?

Discussion in 'VMBB General Discussion' started by rooter, May 14, 2008.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff*

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    Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a su
    > BARACK OBAMA:
    > The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
    > chicken wanted CHANGE!
    >
    > JOHN McCAIN:
    > My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
    > need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
    > the other side of the road.
    >
    > HILLARY CLINTON:
    > When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
    > cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
    > -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
    > chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
    > about me.
    >
    > DR. PHIL:
    > The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
    > first deal with the problem on '"THIS " side of the road before it goes
    > after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
    > help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
    > problems before adding "NEW" problems.
    >
    > OPRAH:
    > Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    > wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    > from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    > give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    > not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
    >
    > GEORGE W. BUSH:
    > We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    > know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
    > either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
    >
    > COLIN POWELL:
    > Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    > of the chicken crossing the road.
    >
    > ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    > We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    > allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
    >
    > JOHN KERRY:
    > Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
    > It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    > intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
    >
    > NANCY GRACE:
    > That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
    > eyes and the way he walks.
    >
    > PAT BUCHANAN:
    > To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    >
    > MARTHA STEWART:
    > No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    > standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    > dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
    >
    > DR SEUSS:
    > Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
    > chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
    >
    > ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    > To die in the rain. Alone.
    >
    > JERRY FALWELL:
    > Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
    > That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken
    > is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
    > boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
    > media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the "other side."
    > That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
    > simple as that.
    >
    > GRANDPA:
    > In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
    > us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    >
    > BARBARA WALTERS:
    > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
    > experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    > life long dream of crossing the road.
    >
    > ARISTOTLE:
    > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    >
    > JOHN LENNON:
    > Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
    >
    > BILL GATES:
    > I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
    > will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
    > book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
    > platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
    > reboot.
    >
    > ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    > Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    > chicken?
    >
    > BILL CLINTON:
    > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    > chicken?
    >
    > AL GORE:
    > I invented the chicken!
    >
    > COLONEL SANDERS:
    > Did I miss one?
    >
    > AL SHARPTON:
    > Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
    >
    > DICK CHENEY:
    > Where's my gun?
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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  3. REVEREND WRIGHT (frothing at the mouth):
    The black chicken crossed the road only because of white prejudice in a racist America! The white chickens left on the other side of the road are doomed!
  4. Sigma40

    Sigma40 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
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    Location:
    N. Carolina
    MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr
    I had a dream that ALL CHICKENS will one day... BANG!!!
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