The Dark Sucker Theory

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Gabob, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. Gabob

    Gabob Well-Known Member

    Dec 5, 2005
    I stole this from my son

    The Dark Sucker Theory

    For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
    but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
    emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
    The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
    that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
    First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
    suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
    There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
    larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.
    Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
    dark than the ones in this room.
    So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
    full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
    on a full Dark Sucker.
    A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
    You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
    all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
    the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
    it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
    disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
    There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
    handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
    Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
    or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
    Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
    the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
    Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
    into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
    great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
    Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
    the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
    slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
    darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
    is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
    lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
    Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
    to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
    opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
    But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
    the closet.
    Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
  2. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

    Apr 25, 2004
    Pensacola Fl. area

  3. Don't you belong to this club/?:eek::D:D:D
  4. Mr. Nameless

    Mr. Nameless New Member

    Feb 21, 2009
    Coast of N.C.
    Okay, the long white bus is gonna take you on a trip now. You will be gone for a very long time. Oh and say hey to Glocknut for me. :D:D
  5. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

    Feb 27, 2009
    Left Coast
    terrific twist....reminds me of a few high-profile "spinners" I know....
  6. jacksonco

    jacksonco New Member

    Your son is a very imaginative and talented writer. He needs to get copy right then send it to some one. I could see that as a plot for a children's book.
  7. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

    May 25, 2009
    Northwest GA
    Nice, I always wondered about that.
  8. kingchip

    kingchip New Member

    Jul 2, 2009
    Marble Falls, Texas
    Childrens book, my azz. He could send this to DC and get a Czar position.
  9. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

    Feb 11, 2009
    I have a similar theory about air and water. Air is vaporized water. That is the reason that, whenever you are paddling downriver you are always going into a headwind. The water flows downstream, the air flows upstream, back to where it came.:D
  10. Suicide*Ride

    Suicide*Ride New Member

    Apr 6, 2009
    Golden, Colorado
    I like how your son thinks Bob. ;) At the top of the list of dark suckers - a black hole. :D

  11. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

    Apr 25, 2004
    Pensacola Fl. area
    I know his son and like I told him over the phone last night.

    What ever you do do not get into a conversation with him about if we live in some ones fish bowl or only are alive in a computer program, y'all be there for weeks :D:D:D:D
    Love him like a brother!!
  12. hkruss

    hkruss Active Member

    Mar 13, 2008
    Mobile, Al.
    I want some of what he has been drinking!!!
  13. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

    Many years ago I read an article on Dark Theory and I wrote it down by hand. I lost it in one of my moves. If anyone has a copy, this would be a great place to post it. I may have seen it in a copy of Compressed Air or Spectrum the IEE journal.
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