The Irish Doc' A doctor in Ireland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. 'Seamus, I am goin huntin tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients. 'Yes, sir!' answers Seamus. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Seamus, how was your day?' Seamus told him that he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.' 'Bravo, and the second one?' asks the doctor. 'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MALOX, sir,' says Seamus. 'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the doctor. 'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table. She spreads her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!' 'Thunderin' Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?' asks the doctor. 'I put drops in her eyes!'