The One Liner Thread

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by 76Highboy, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member

    Jan 1, 2012
    What's the difference between a smart blond and a UFO?

    There have actually been UFO sightings.


  2. Did you hear about the two blondes who walked into a skyscraper?

    You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.


  3. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2011
    Wichita, Ks
    I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  4. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2011
    Wichita, Ks
    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
  5. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2011
    Wichita, Ks
    What do you do with a 40 year old woman who thinks she's God's gift? Trade her in for two 20 year olds.
  6. aa1911

    aa1911 Well-Known Member

    Dec 12, 2010
    Pacific Northwest
    I don't know any jokes clean enough to post on here! ahhahaaa!

    I'm rackin' my brain and just can't think of any clean ones....

    OK, this might be clean enough...

    A guy walks into the psychologist's office completely naked, his whole body wrapped in seran wrap. The shrink says "I can clearly see you're nuts!"
  7. bamajoey

    bamajoey Well-Known Member

    Aug 17, 2009
    For my wifes 30th birthday I took her to Paris. For her 60th birthday I am going to get her.
  8. flintlock

    flintlock Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2007
    Upstate NY
    How about the agnostic dyslexic who stays up nights wondering if there really is a doG?
  9. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

    It occurs to me that regarding the military sex scandals going on right now that we have too many Generals taking orders from their privates!
  10. lonewolf204

    lonewolf204 Well-Known Member

    Apr 10, 2011
    What's the deference between a woman and a car battery? The battery has a positive side!!!
  11. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2012
    The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
  12. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2012
    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
  13. Diamondback

    Diamondback Well-Known Member

    What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?

    You can negotiate with the terrorist!
  14. From my 2 of my sisters, both of them nurses.

    You know you're a nurse if...

    You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

    You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

    When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes

    You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
  15. 68c15

    68c15 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Nov 22, 2011
    why do blondes wear ear rings? ankle holders

    what does a blonde say after sex? are all you guys on the same team?

    I have CDO. that's OCD in alphabetical order.
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