The One Liner Thread

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by 76Highboy, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2012
    Messages:
    8,663
    What's the difference between a smart blond and a UFO?

    There have actually been UFO sightings.

    :lmao2::lmao2::lmao2:

    NEXT:D
  2. johnnyehlers

    johnnyehlers Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2012
    Messages:
    349
    Location:
    West Central Missouri
    Did you hear about the two blondes who walked into a skyscraper?

    You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

    :D
  3. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,830
    Location:
    Wichita, Ks
    I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  4. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,830
    Location:
    Wichita, Ks
    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
  5. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,830
    Location:
    Wichita, Ks
    What do you do with a 40 year old woman who thinks she's God's gift? Trade her in for two 20 year olds.
  6. aa1911

    aa1911 Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2010
    Messages:
    3,215
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    I don't know any jokes clean enough to post on here! ahhahaaa!

    I'm rackin' my brain and just can't think of any clean ones....

    OK, this might be clean enough...

    A guy walks into the psychologist's office completely naked, his whole body wrapped in seran wrap. The shrink says "I can clearly see you're nuts!"
  7. bamajoey

    bamajoey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2009
    Messages:
    1,616
    Location:
    Pensacola
    For my wifes 30th birthday I took her to Paris. For her 60th birthday I am going to get her.
  8. flintlock

    flintlock Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,097
    Location:
    Upstate NY
    How about the agnostic dyslexic who stays up nights wondering if there really is a doG?
  9. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2011
    Messages:
    1,627
    Location:
    Livingston county, Michigan
    It occurs to me that regarding the military sex scandals going on right now that we have too many Generals taking orders from their privates!
  10. lonewolf204

    lonewolf204 Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2011
    Messages:
    969
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    What's the deference between a woman and a car battery? The battery has a positive side!!!
  11. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    2,572
    Location:
    California
    The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
  12. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    2,572
    Location:
    California
    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
  13. Diamondback

    Diamondback Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    978
    Location:
    Silver City, Oklahoma
    What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?


    You can negotiate with the terrorist!
  14. Old Grump

    Old Grump New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,320
    Location:
    Little hut in the woods near Blue River Wisconsin
    From my 2 of my sisters, both of them nurses.

    You know you're a nurse if...

    You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.


    You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.


    When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes


    You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
  15. 68c15

    68c15 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2011
    Messages:
    3,899
    why do blondes wear ear rings? ankle holders

    what does a blonde say after sex? are all you guys on the same team?

    I have CDO. that's OCD in alphabetical order.
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon Mitt Romney Jokes and One Liners Oct 19, 2012
The Pump House Saloon Mex Recliner Jun 19, 2011
The Pump House Saloon Christian One Liners Mar 2, 2009
The Pump House Saloon Blond One-Liners Dec 3, 2007
The Pump House Saloon Short One Liners Feb 4, 2007

Share This Page