The One Liner Thread

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by 76Highboy, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    I am glad I put this in the Pump House.:D
  2. Diamondback

    Diamondback Active Member

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    Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up!! You don't know where it's been!!"
  3. aa1911

    aa1911 Active Member

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    what's the only difference between a fairy tale and a sailor's story?

    fairy tales start off "once upon a time...", sailor stories start of "This is no S... !"
  4. Buckshot

    Buckshot Active Member

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    Three pregnant friends were comparing notes about things that they'd heard that could effect the gender of the baby....

    The brunette says that she will probably have a boy because she was on top when the baby was conceived. The redhead says she will probably have a girl because she was on the bottom. The blonde thinks for a moment and looking a bit uneasy, announces that she will probably be having puppies.

    (Sorry, more than one line. :rolleyes: )
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2012
  5. agedhunter

    agedhunter Member

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    If there is no Woman around to hear a Man speak, IS HE STILL WRONG ?
  6. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

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    Obama has been working hard, 24 / 7 - 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.
  7. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

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    Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.
  8. hstout1143

    hstout1143 Well-Known Member

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    How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
  9. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    What do you call a blonde with laryngitis?

    PERFECT

    My wife made that up.

    :lmao2:
  10. Pixcutter

    Pixcutter Member

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    Yes, according to my wife
  11. montezumaz

    montezumaz Former Guest

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    I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. First, the good news. The unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level in nearly four years. The bad news is that most of those jobs involve wearing a red suit, a beard and having kids pee in your lap.
  12. glens67

    glens67 Well-Known Member

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    This guy looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"


    I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
  13. glens67

    glens67 Well-Known Member

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    I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.


    The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
  14. glens67

    glens67 Well-Known Member

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    I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.


    I said, "Nice legs."


    The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."


    I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
  15. Diamondback

    Diamondback Active Member

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    If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
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