The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Pistolenschutze, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, anda Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

    One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

    Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.
    Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."

    They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    13,856
    Location:
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
  3. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    13,856
    Location:
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Reminds me of the Priest and the Rabbi that were located across the street from each other and were hard nosed rivals at all they did!!

    Each year the priest would be given a new Cadillac. On the following Sunday he would have a ceremony in order to bless the new car. The entire congregation would gather around while the priest sprinkled holy water and prayed over the car. The Rabbi would be livid each time since he was so jealous at not having the crowds around at the temple in any ceremony like that.

    That same year the rabbi was fortunate to purchase a new Lincoln Town Car and decided that he would not be outdone by the good Father. Just before the Sabbath, following the Temple Services, they had the congregation crowd around the Lincoln in front. When all was quiet and prayers had been completed blessing the car, the Rabbi walked around back, leaned over and clipped off two inches of the tail pipes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas
    GROAN!


    THUD!
  5. southernshooter

    southernshooter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,956
    Location:
    Deep South Mississippi
    I'd put a smiley but I'm laughin too hard to steady the mouse
  6. wolfgang2000

    wolfgang2000 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Messages:
    542
    Location:
    Mountain Grove MO.
  7. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    Marlin, U B trin 2 take my job?
  8. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas

    PLEASE!
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon The Priest and the Nun.... Jun 23, 2014
The Pump House Saloon Irish Priest in Texas Feb 18, 2014
The Pump House Saloon The Priest and the Bikers. . . Jan 8, 2014
The Pump House Saloon Watch the Priest at the Horse Track... Aug 26, 2013
The Pump House Saloon Priest retirement dinner Oct 21, 2010

Share This Page