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They walk among us!

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Eddie N, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Apr 23, 2009
    You can’t make this stuff up!

    NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
    when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
    on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire..'

    Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
    and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
    of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
    Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.

    The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

    A) A Peanut
    B) An Elephant
    C) The Moon
    D) A Car
    Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
    readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
    as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
    'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
    but I have no idea how large they would be.'

    Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
    Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
    bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
    easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

    'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans...
    'Darn. I think I better phone a friend...'
    Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

    'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
    wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
    'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
    B, an elephant, or C, the moon... 15 seconds hun.'
    Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
    Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
    'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

    To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
    advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
    So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

    Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
    answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
    Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

    'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
    too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
    your gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'

    Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
    and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'

    Caution...they walk among us!

    This one is equally unbelievable. (No comments needed!)

    They Walk Among Us!

    Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
    To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
    sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
    For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
    He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
    So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

    The next day someone stole it!

    They walk among us!

    I stopped at McDonald’s and ordered some fries.
    The girl behind the counter said, “Would you like some fries with that?”

    One day I was walking down the beach with
    some friends when someone shouted....
    'Look at that dead bird!'
    Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

    They walk among us!


    While looking at a house, my brother asked the
    estate agent which direction was north because
    he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
    She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
    My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
    and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
    'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

    They Walk Among Us!

    My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
    when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
    sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
    She drove down in a convertible, but said
    she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
    because the car was moving'.

    They Walk Among Us!

    My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
    which is designed to cut through a seat belt
    if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

    They Walk Among Us!

    I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
    My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
    out every time she turns her head!"
    I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
    remain the same distance apart no
    matter which way the head is turned...

    They Walk Among Us !
    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
    The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
    because she was a trained professional and
    said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
    'Has your plane arrived yet?'.....
    (I work with professionals like this.)

    They Walk Among Us!
    While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
    ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
    into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
    then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
    enough to eat 6 pieces.

    They Walk Among Us!

    And last, but not least:

    Dumb as a box of Rocks

    A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

    'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

    'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'

    'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

    Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''

    Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'

    Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they vote and their vote equals ours and they also reproduce!
  2. red14

    red14 Active Member

    Aug 17, 2009
    N FLA
    You're joking, right?
  3. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Apr 23, 2009
    Was going to post it in "General". Not joking. Scary, ain't it?
  4. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    They just started a TV show here from the USA called Ellen

    Now i cant beleive folks watch that drivel but they tout it as the second most watched show in the USA

    this true?? i thought Oprah was bad but this sheeeit no wonder things are getting bad

    sorry but i paid too much for my TV to have stuff like that on it, i'd kick it if it played too long and another TV would cost ya know??


    and sorry eh
  5. red14

    red14 Active Member

    Aug 17, 2009
    N FLA
    You mean that degenerate chick? Can't stand her.
  6. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Apr 23, 2009
    Unfortunately, I think it is true, Jack. That about sums up the intelligence over here. Sad!
  7. navis128

    navis128 New Member

    Sep 15, 2009
    Does anyone listen to Hannity on talk news?

    He's got a Man on the Street segment...scares the crap out of me...some people don't know who the VP, AG, SoTresry. They know who obama is though.

    I guess his "girlfriend" is quite upset with him now...can't make anymore bank on stupid lyrics to stupid songs no mo.
  8. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Apr 23, 2009
    Who needs TV? Just hang out somewhere for a while. You will be surprised.
  9. NitroDave08

    NitroDave08 New Member

    Jan 27, 2010
    Cheyenne, WY
    Who says that zombies arent real, well atleast they havent started the "More Brains" haha.

    For a lil help on their part,
    The moon is only the size of a half-dollar when you look at it haha
    And the fast food workers are "trained" to as the fry question over and over
    it becomes a habit, most zombie profession out there.

    When working at Sears hardware we had to wear the funky orange vests,
    I was stocking a shelf when a 30s mother and teenage daughter snook up on me
    I hear, "excuse me, do you work here" then I hear, "No Mom, he wears the
    vest for a fashion statement"
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2010
  10. navis128

    navis128 New Member

    Sep 15, 2009
    TV? Dude, RADIO...

    It's just so funny, but also sad...it amazes me...I don't hang with people like that.:eek:
  11. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

    Jul 20, 2008
    A wretched hive of scum and villiany
    They walk among us...and they voted for Obambababababa
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