"WHAT IN THE HELL'S GOING ON"?

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by rooter, Oct 15, 2009.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    10,834
    Location:
    Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a su
    ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
    >
    >
    > This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough)..
    > You definitely feel the guy's pain! An actual letter to the passport
    > office...
    >
    > Dear Sirs,
    >
    > I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
    How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows
    that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal
    Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
    >
    > For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on
    my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed
    for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's
    license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid
    customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the
    plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that
    are done at election times.
    >
    > Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name
    is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if
    that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
    >
    > I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've
    had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you
    ask me for my f----in' address.
    >
    > What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal assholes working
    there!
    >
    >
    > Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up
    Yasser Arafat, for shitsakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy
    beach.
    >
    > And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan
    on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
    something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not
    want to tell anyone!
    >
    > Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city
    and get another f----in' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60.
    Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
    assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be
    too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over
    the f---in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some
    asshole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the
    one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f---in' morons) Hey,
    you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
    >
    >
    > Signed
    > - An Irate Citizen.
    >
    >
    > P.S.. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
    confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
    ........I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have
    had security clearances up the yingyang.........However, I have to get
    someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor
    WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
    >
    > Sincerely,
    >
    > You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who I Am.
    >
    > .....................And you want them to run our health care?!?
  2. graehaven

    graehaven Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2007
    Messages:
    2,956
    Location:
    Rochester, NY
    Whether it's a real letter or not, that's an immediate classic (profanity aside). Of course, this is an example of the proper use of profanity, used to punctuate a well written diatribe (well, except for the the Jesus one). :eek::D;)

    Very well done! Thanks for posting!
  3. Snakedriver

    Snakedriver New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,217
    Location:
    SW. Florida
    Bad language???? You were a sailor weren't you??? :D
  4. tntrucker

    tntrucker New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2009
    Messages:
    119
    It's the govt. I had to go home and get my birth certificate to renew my drivers license. Never mind that I've held a drivers license in this state for 38 years without one problem. Since it's a CDL also had to pay to be fingerprinted and background check even though that had already been done for my handgun permit. MONEY, MONEY!
  5. Gun Geezer

    Gun Geezer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2009
    Messages:
    2,200
    Location:
    Central Florida
    We're from the govt. and we're here to help! Can you spell oxymoron?
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The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch "How's your day going?" Apr 19, 2011

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