Whats the funniest thing that ever happened to you?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ckill1, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. ckill1

    ckill1 New Member

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    Well after Mr. Nameless' pick me up this morning, thought I'd throw this one out there. Lets laugh at ourselves a little...

    I was working nights about 15 years ago in a medium-sized ICU in a small midwestern city. Just off orientation, not used to night-shift hours, tired as hell. I needed to use the bathroom, so got relief for my patients & off I went. Sat down to do my buisiness and...woke up with a start! Now, I don't know how I fell asleep sitting on the crapper, or HOW LONG I've been there! Apparently it was long enough, because when I jumped up, it only took a half a second to realize both my legs were asleep and I ws falling headfirst into the bathroom door! The pop of my severely sprained ankle was lost in the loud thunk that my head made when it contacted the solid door in front of me. In summary, its 2:30am, I am lying on the bathroom door dazed from a nasty crack to the head, legs tingling except for a dull throb in my rapidly swelling right ankle, scrubs balled up around my feet, unsure how long I've been there, as the 3 other RNs knock on the door & ask if Im allright!
    I managed to clean myself up, get my pants on, hobble out & finish my shift, but I never lived that night down! Still hear about it when I go back to visit!

    next...

    Chris
  2. Gabob

    Gabob Active Member

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    I have posted this before but here goes again

    In the 60's I hunted whitetail deer in Monroe County Ga. Didn't have a lot of money for fancy camo so I tie dyed an old pair of GI coveralls. Then I burned a thermos cork and blackened my face. Found an old sawdust pile way back in the woods and climbed halfway up. Then I proceeded to bury myself except for my face and barrel and breech of 30-40 Krag carbine. In a few minutes an old beat up flat bed truck drove up with two young boys in it. Driver could barely see over dash. They backed up to sawdust pile and jumped out with a shovel each and started digging. I watched them load sawdust until they were on verge of digging me up. so I stood up and shook off the sawdust. They never made a sound. Just threw shovels up in the air and took off like the hounds of hell were chasing them. I left and went further in woods to hunt but after dark I came back by and shovels and truck were still there. I can only imagine the tale they told of the Sawdust Monster.
  3. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    Well I have a dozen or more easy, but here's a silly one. I am sitting next to my wife on a plane out of London for an 11 hour flight to Rio. The plane has just left the ground and I look at my watch. look at my wife and ask 'didn't we invite Alan and Vera round for tea this afternoon? Should be arriving at the house about now, having driven up from Kent'. Oh.
  4. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    I am a terrible practical joker, ask my wife. One day I came home to hear her vacuuming. I found where it was plugged in and hid behind the chair and pulled, inserted, pulled, inserted, pulled....... So, here she comes racing into the room, looks at the plug to see....... A man's hand on the plug :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
  5. Big ugly

    Big ugly New Member

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    We had a level three snow advisery in Ohio which basicall means stay at home. Me and the Burban was goin down US 127 south of Greenville Ohio when I got pulled over by a state trooper. He gave the riot act about beein out in the snow in unsafe conditions. He then gave me a ticket and went back to his car and pulled out. I sat on the side of the road for a minute, Lit a cigarette and took a big swig of Coffee before I pulled out on the road. About three miles later I came upon the cruiser in the ditch, way down in the ditch. I stopped to see if he was alright, He asked if I could pull him out. I declined cuz I didnt have a chain with me. He called in to tell dispoatch the news and asked for assistance, dispatch siad it be a while. I let the the officer stay warm inside the truck. Tow truck finally showed up but he slid off the road into the ditch. I wound pulling the both out wuththe chains from the towtruck
  6. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Active Member

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    I hope he saw to it that your ticket was dropped.
  7. ponycar17

    ponycar17 Active Member

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    I don't know that it's the funniest but it's worth telling, and I do often. :D

    I remembered one night that I didn't have sandwich bread and/or sandwich meat for work the next day and had to head off to the store. It was probably 6:30-7:00 at night but winter, so it was dark already. I was driving a bright red, loud Mustang and turned into a convenience store to get gas before going to the grocery store. The convenience store sits at an intersection with stop lights and has entrances from both roads. Usually, I would have just turned left at the stop light to get to the grocery store. I filled up with gas and went into the grocery store, noticing a police car sitting on the other side of the gas station where I had been. I didn't care much since I had no reason to worry about him.

    I purchased my items and hopped back into the car to head home. I turned right at the intersection where I stopped to get gas and headed on up the road. About 1 mile later I got a blinding blue light racing up behind me. I stopped and followed the normal routine. I shut the car off, rolled down the window, put my keys on the dash and had both hands on the wheel when the officer showed up. He says, "I need to see your license, registration and proof of insurance." I get the papers for him and said, "officer, can I ask why you stopped me?" He replies, "we'll get to that later!...." I really had no clue what the problem was.

    So, while I'm waiting in the car another police cruiser pulls up. At this point I'm REALLY confused. Finally, the officer comes back to my window with the additional officer standing behind him. I get a lecture about "how I was seen going through the gas station parking lot to avoid the stop light". I said, "but officer..." He says, "son, I'm talkin'!"... I let him continue to explain to me how I shouldn't be doing that and then he says, "what were you going to say?" I said, "does it help that I have a time/dated receipt for gas from the station which you accuse me of cutting through?" :D I thought the officer behind him was going to bust a gut laughing. The one grilling me gets kind of embarrassed and says, "well, I'll give you that one; you must have been on the other side of the store filling up?.... so I'm going to let you off with a verbal warning, and I noticed you gettin' on up to speed when I got behind you, so slow down". I was going 35 or less. I recognized this part of town as a speed trap already.

    I'll bet the rest of his shift was filled with jabbing from the other officer! :D Just doing my part... :)

    Now, I greatly respect law enforcement officers but this guy's actions were so far out of the ordinary it's amazing. He screwed up so many times in this stop. First, he could have stopped me in the convenience store parking lot if he thought I had committed an offense. Instead, he stopped me after I had been in the grocery store for 10 minutes. Secondly, he could have stopped me near the convenience store instead of allowing me to get 1 mile up the road before speeding to catch up to me in a 35 MPH residential zone. Third, he could have easily ended the stop if he had presented me with the accusation and allowed me to elaborate. This guy gives police officers a bad name but I continue to get a chuckle out of that night, seeing his reaction vividly when I told him about the receipt. The other officer's hysterical laughing was all I needed to complete the situation! :D
  8. Mr. Nameless

    Mr. Nameless New Member

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    If you remember my post from "the worst thing ever" thread you should get this. It was about the second week of going through their routine and I thought I would play a joke. I had a "fake knife with the blood sticker" thing for halloween costums, so I dig it out make some fake blood, all that stuff. Well in the morning when I get the about five minutes before the scheduled knock they're outside my door talking. I start making a bunch of noise, knocking things over. I come running out the door with fake blood covering me and the prop stickng to my bare back. I just fall to the lawn and lay there. Then, without planning it my wife comes out and says, and I qoute, "Guess you wont eat anymore pie in bed now will you!!" I love that woman, she brought it all together, but they left us alone untill I made the mistake of goin to the gas station 2 days later :rolleyes:
  9. artabr

    artabr New Member

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    When I was living in Boston I was dateing a girl who was in an improv comedy group.
    Every year for Thanksgiving her mom would cook a big dinner and invite Dot's (the g/f) friends who had nowhere to go, over for diner.
    There were 14 of us at the table and 10 were professional comedians to one degree or another. 3 or 4 had been on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. They had worked with and were friends with Jay from his days doing the clubs around Boston.
    This had to be the hardest meal I've ever tried to eat. We were crying because we were laughing so hard.

    1 of the people who was not a comic was a homeless bagpipe player from Scotland that we shang-haied from Harvard Square. We were riding around and seen this guy and thought it would be cool to have some bigpipe music, so we pulled over and asked if he wanted to come to diner with us.

    This part was kind of crazy rather than funny. :eek:

    This poor guy, the piper, is laughing with the rest of us, when he starts choking. I had to do a heimlich maneuver on the poor guy. He had swallowed his false teeth. He was a little shook up, but ok. I was probably more shook up than him. :eek: :)

    Other than the swallowed teeth, it was a riot. ;) :D



    Art
  10. JUNKKING

    JUNKKING Active Member

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    I am a contractor and was working in a chemical plant doing some piping that couldn't be done in the day so we had to work at night. We were there for about 7 months and got to know all of the guys that actually worked for the plant fairly well.

    They hired a great big black guy maybe a month after I got there, This guy was afraid of everything and they kept telling him about this big hairy creature that they would see in the tank farm on occasion. He didn't believe them but was a little leery of going down there at night to get readings from the tanks.

    One evening in November it was snowing pretty good and I found this cardboard that was 3 inches thick it had sort of baffles between the layers to stiffen it. I traced my foot and took a pair of dividers and made the foot like 27 inches long and added toes. I made two of these and duct taped them onto my boots. I went across a cat walk and through a building then walked the dyke wall into the tank farm jumped off the wall and made tracks straight to the building Mac had to go into to get his clip board and face shield. I went out the back and up over the hill straight to the smoke shack told the guys what I did and we all sat there waiting for Mac. it wasn't 20 minutes and he came flying into the smoke shack and it looked like he had seen a ghost. He was stuttering and his eyes were bulged trying to tell us that this creature was in his lab.

    We laughed so hard, He was so serious and thought we didn't believe him. He was going to call the state police to send someone to shoot it. i have worked in this plant many times and the guys there still call me big foot. Mac is still there and laughs now saying he knew it was a joke but we all know better.
  11. PharmrJohn

    PharmrJohn New Member

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    Every once in a while something will happen at work that is amusing. One day, about fifteen years ago, a woman came upto the pharmacy counter. One of the pharmacists did his obligatory, "Hello!!! How are you today?" routine. Fair enough question.

    Now, most people say fine or OK. Not this chick. She told it like it was. What came out of her mouth was, "My breasts hang flat like pancakes and I have a yeast infection.". The RPh just stood there staring. The technician was laughing so hard she had to excuse herself to the back.
  12. carver

    carver Moderator

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    Being 60 years old, there are several things that come to mind. I suppose the one that comes to mind first is this one. While I was employed at the U.S. Post Office there were several of us there that were into hunting, and guns. One fellow, Charlie, owned a small gun sale store that he operated out of his converted garage. One day we were all on break, and talking guns. Charlie made the statment that short barreled guns were useless, and that you couldn't hit anything with one. I spoke up and said that I owned a Bull Dog that I hit pony bottles with at 35 steps. Charlie immeaditely called me a liar, and stated again that you couldn't hit anything with a short barreled gun. My response was to bet him $20 that I could. The bet was on! Several of us headed down the road after work to a place just outside of town where we could shoot, and sometimes folks dumped their garbage. I had shot there many times, and knew there would be a supply of bottles, and cans to shoot at. I stepped off 35 steps, and set up some dog food cans. I walked back to where everyone else was at, and asked Charlie if he wanted to back down on the bet. He didn't. My first shoot took out one can. Charlie immeaditely started hollering "Luck, just dumb luck". I told him he owed me $20, and he said I had to do it again, that it was just an accident. So I did, second shoot took out the second can. Charlie was really upset, and the other guys were laughing at him, which made him even madder. I asked him if he wanted a chance to get his money back, one shot, all or nothing! He jumped at the chance, screaming and hollering all the time "You can't do that! Those guns are not accurate"! Third shot took out a third can. Now Charlie was about ready to fight me he was so mad. He kept screaming and hollering that you can't do that, those guns are not accurate! I think the only reason he didn't jump me was because of the others being there, and the fact that I still had a loaded gun in hand that knew I could shoot. It was weeks before Charlie finally started speaking to me again, the other guys just wouldn't let him live that down, and told it all over the Post Office. I later bought several guns thru his shop, but he never would forget that I beat him out of $40. Haven't seen any of those guys since I left the Post Office. I sure wish that I still had that pistol, some one stole it from me years ago.
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  13. ARB

    ARB New Member

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    About thirteen years ago I was taking a CPR class at the local hospital. The desks were set up in a horseshoe and there was this pretty young thing sitting across from me. We had been eyeing each other all morning. When it was time to pick partners for the Heimlick(sp.?) manuever, I of course chose her. I was the first to perform it, and I thought I was being all sauve. When it was her turn to try it on me, she squeezed low and I farted on her stomach. The whole class heard it, and in my horror they burst out laughing, even the teacher. I didn't get her number.
  14. 45nut

    45nut New Member

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    #1) A couple of years ago the wife and I were doing some Christmas shopping. She wanted to go to Mardel's, a Christian Book store. I was disinterested in shopping and needed to use the rest room. I headed to the head and gave a cursory look at the signs and headed in to do my business.

    While in the stall I called a friend and was chatting away and I heard a woman talking through the door to a sick kid and didn't pay much attention until I suddenly remembered I didn't see any unrinals in the RR :eek: I was doing my dirty business in the LADIES Toilet! :eek: I immediately hung up and did the paperwork, but before I could finish the manager said "Sir" I replied, I know it's an accident and rushed out only to find several women standing there with crossed arms with very unhappy faces.

    I just went into the Men's room to hideout and my friend called back asking me what was the matter? I told her what happened and she laughed her @$$ off, then told her hubby and made jokes about it.

    I called my sister-in-law and told her and she fell off the couch laughing. She told me she would wait until her kids were home at Christmas and tell them what their Uncle had done. :D :( :(

    #2) On opening day of deer season a few years ago, I shot a spike and my buddy killed an 7 point. The landowner picked us up and tossed the deer in one of those carriers that plugs into the trailer hitch. When I went to exit the back of the truck, I lost my balance and fell in a sitting position on the corner of the carrier. I felt a sharp pain in my left thigh.

    I stood up and grimaced, felt the back of my thigh and felt something wet and a hole in my pants. :eek: OMG, I fell on the antler of my spike and took 2" of deer antler in my thigh. :eek: I told my hunting buddies and they called BS, so I dropped trouser and showed them the ugly hole and proved my point.

    First, we had two deer to gut and skin, so after I finished mine, I helped Sammy finish his :eek: then took a trip to the ER where the nurses and DR laughed hysterically at my injury. I heard the DR exclaim through the door, "He did what?" I got my stitches and the next morning walked a mile to my deer stand and missed a doe and killed a nice 8 pointer.

    On opening day for the rest of my life "What size deer are you going to sit on this year" will be a topic of campfire conversation. :D

    Graphic picture below of a nice puncture wound

    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  15. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    Years ago I went to the mall food court with some co-workers. We had finished lunch when Bill excitedly told us to come with him. We went into the men's room and he began walking down the stalls looking at the feet of the occupants. He stopped at one stall, crouched down, grabbed the man by the ankles, dragged him off the toilet and out onto the middle of the floor. This poor guy is trying to get his pants up and Bill yells "This man robbed the Barnett Bank last Tuesday, don't let him leave, I'm going to get the police!" and goes charging out the door. We run behind him, load up in the car and get moving demanding an explanation. Finally he explains "When I was at Clemson 15 years ago, my brother did that to me, drug me off the toilet and into the middle of the bathroom. I swore I'd get even. Well, today I saw my brother heading into the bathroom and I took the chance. Only after I had him in the middle of the floor did I realize that it wasn't my brother!"
  16. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    [​IMG]

    Now that's funny!

    NOT!
  17. ponycar17

    ponycar17 Active Member

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    Them dang Clemson people.... ;) :D
  18. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    BRILLIANT!!! I am going to steal this practical joke and see that its played on one of my unsuspecting family members....:D
  19. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    When I was about 12 my brother and I were wrestling on the couch. I was pinning him down and tossing him all over the place. he finally caught me off guard and i tumbled over the back of the couch and hit the floor hard on my hind quarters. Then the sharp pains came shooting up my spine and i felt a warm liquid seeping through my pants. There was a small tea cup on the floor behind the couch that my little sister had been giving the cats milk in. I landed on it busting it into long slender chards. I had one chard appx 3 inches long and about 3/4 inch wide went into my right buttcheek just about in the center. and another appx the same size went into my lower left buttcheek at the top of the back of my leg about and inch from the family jewels:eek: that one still makes me cringe....
  20. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    heres another...

    I was prolly 11 or 12 (may have been earlier the same summer as the tea cup incident) we had gone camping in mineral wells for the weekend. My brother (same brother) and I were fishing from the bank. I had been fishing with spinner baits and he was fishing with a spoon (a pretty big one) I got up to switch lures about the time he reared back for a long cast. That spoon hit me in the face. rested on my nose for just an instant and snap, he set the hook through my nasal cavity. the barb of the hook was dern near in my sinus behind my skull. The docs in mineral wells got a good laugh from that one... And I still have the hook...:)
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
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