Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by mrkirker, Sep 30, 2008.

  1. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

    Jul 13, 2007
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    BARACK OBAMA : The chicken crossed the road because it was time
    for change ! The chicken wanted change !

    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

    SARAH PALIN: As a Mayor and Governor of I have fought against and stopped the good old boy chickens attempts to cross the road against God's will. It appears I have not fully succeeded. Where's my gun?

    DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

    GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road with what is
    certainly weapons of mass destruction, perhaps nuclear. We must
    bomb the chicken before it attacks us and destroys our American way of life!

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
    about the chicken's intentions.. I am not for it now, and will
    remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won ' t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
    What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens .

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe a chicken crossed the road, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road to verify the crossing.

    BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS: Another left-wing pinko chicken has crossed the road, probably looking for another government relocation handout. Get over it buddy, as far as I'm concerned, you're on your own.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
    he ' s guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never need to reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
  2. PPK 32

    PPK 32 Active Member

    Apr 15, 2008
    Frickin, Illinois
    Ya missed one. Dan Quail: Chicken--C H I K I N.:D:D
  3. artabr

    artabr New Member

    Mar 3, 2008
    New Iberia, Louisiana
    I believe Bill O'Reilly leans left wing. :D :D :D :D

  4. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

    Aug 22, 2006
    South Central Texas
  5. DoesItMatter

    DoesItMatter New Member

    Jun 12, 2008
    Pacific NorthWest
    Wait a minute...

    I mean, come on, it's a chicken...

    What do you need a gun for?

    We all know you "choke" the chicken... right?
  6. Inthewind1976

    Inthewind1976 Member

    Oct 1, 2008
    Central Pennsylvania
    Actually, I understand that the chicken crossed the road to PROVE to the opossum that it COULD BE DONE. :):)
  7. Mrs. DCD

    Mrs. DCD New Member

    Nov 22, 2007
    On a beautiful little farm high up on a hill.
    From what I've heard, it wasn't a chicken but a rooster, and he was tired of being hen pecked!
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