Why I Hate Elevators, Part 7

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ducky, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. ducky

    ducky New Member

    May 13, 2004
    In the continuing saga of ducky and his expeditions into society, and society's structures, we bring you this story of elevators and all that which sucks about them.

    First, we must address some common issues associated with elevator riding.

    Why is it that when in a crowded elevator, everyone stares at the ceiling?

    It really does stink to be the guy in the center of the crowded elevator. People quit staring at the ceiling to stare at you.

    Why do people wring their hands or pop their knuckles (or just keep fidgeting) when riding in crowded elevators?

    Who farted?

    Why do people try cramming 50 deep into an elevator rather than just politely saying "I'll take the next one"?

    Who are these people who crowd the spots right by the floor buttons and give you dirty looks when you brush their bellies to hit your floor number?

    Why does all conversation cease in a loaded elevator and everyone stand in complete, deafening silence for the duration?

    Why are they all staring at me? I should've taken the stairs.

    Why do healthy people ride the elevator to go one floor up when the stairs are 10 feet away?

    Escalators? That topic will be expanded on in Part 8 of ducky's ramblings.


    Now, to the good news. I forgot where I was going with this topic..

    The End
  2. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

    I can answer the fourth question, it was glocNUT.

  3. Try being a female with a not-so-flat chest... :eek:
  4. pickenup

    pickenup Active Member

    I like to have fun on elevators.
    Was in one yesterday when a girl went beside me.
    As she passed, she said, “Excuse me.”
    I said, “NO”

    Everyone turned to look.
    While chuckling, I asked her, “ Isn’t that the appropriate response?”
    She, along with everyone else, got a smile on their faces.
    It broke the ice, and made for a friendly ride up.

    She WAS one of those type females, but the wife was with me. ;)
  5. I bet you really enjoy the elevators
  6. Uh huh....thought so...LOL :D
  7. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

    Jan 1, 2003
    SW MS
    You left off one: why does everyone turn around to face the door when they board the elevator?

    Saw a show once where someone would wait to be the last to get on the elevator, then stand facing everyone instead of turning around to face the door, just to see how folks would react. He made more than a few folks uncomfortable. ;)
  8. dcon12

    dcon12 Active Member Supporting Member

    Apr 1, 2004
    Albany, Ga.

    The thought has crossed my mind. Don
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