Why Men are not Depressed --

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by aero, May 20, 2012.

  1. aero

    aero Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2012
    Messages:
    337
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Men Are Just Happier People - - -


    What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    You can be President.

    You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about Firearms.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you,
    He or she can still be your friend.


    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

    You never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
    On December 24 in 25 minutes.
    ___________________________________
    Men Are Just Happier People...
    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
  2. Insulation Tim

    Insulation Tim Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,526
    Location:
    Ohio
    How absolutely TRUE !!! :D:D
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