You Might Be a Redneck...

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Feb 27, 2006.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    You might be an extreme redneck if ...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

    2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

    3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

    4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

    5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

    6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

    7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

    8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

    9. Your junior prom offered day care.

    10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

    11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

    12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

    13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

    14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

    15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
    House of Tattoos.

    16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

    17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

    An Oklahoma couple, both bonified rednecks, had 9 children.
    They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children, would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
    __________________
    :D :D :D
  2. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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  3. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Always get a chuckle over this one.

    The last part is bad, GF. Very BAD!!!!!!!!!

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  4. Glockgod

    Glockgod New Member

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    if you've ever washed dishes with a garden hose,BTDT :D
  5. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

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    Central Texas Gulf Coast
  6. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

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    Texas
  7. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

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    Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point
    :D KNEE-SLAPPER! LOL :D
  8. flopshot

    flopshot New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
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    Location:
    North Carolina
    did ya know the toothbrush was invented in west virginia ? anywhere else and it would have been called a "teeth" brush.
    if you go to family reunions to pick up women you might be a redneck.
  9. blackhawkkid308

    blackhawkkid308 Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    pensacola florida
    the so-called sissy pistol went through, WWI, WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, plus all points in between need i say anymore.
    blackhawkkid223 1911's forever
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