“The ELMER FUDPUKER REVIEW”

Discussion in 'The VMBB True Story Tellers' started by Guest, Feb 26, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Mithrandir
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 45
    (5/17/01 9:38:13 am)
    | Del All “The ELMER FUDPUKER REVIEW”
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    February 20th 1967….

    The job is boring…

    This place is boring….

    These guys are uglier than hell……

    Only thing to do is go to work….And drink at night…….

    Oh jeezzz.. the bar girls in the NCO club are ugly too…. all except “Clarence”… she’s not too bad……

    Aw well… she’s married and there no reason to pursue it……

    Besides…. we call her “Clarence” because she is as cross-eyed as the lion on TV back in the world. Now…I cannot, for the life of me remember what that program was called????…… Born Free maybe????

    What????

    What’s that you say….. we got a USO show coming in????

    So who is it that is coming????

    Bob Hope ?????

    Martha Ray????

    WHO for god’s sake….

    Yeeeee Frikking HAW!!!!!!

    THE ELMER FUDPUKER REVIEW………

    Ok…ok…. so who….. or rather what the hell is that??????

    Oh jeezzz…. another frikkin country and western show……

    THIS WHOLE COUNTRY IS ONE BIG FRIKKIN COUNTRY AND WESTERN SHOW…..

    WE WANT STRIPPERS…. AND ROUND EYES AT THAT !!!!

    WE WANT ROUNDEYES ….. WE WANT ROUNDEYES… WE WANT ROUNDEYES ….. WE WANT ROUNDEYES ….. WE WANT ROUNDEYES …..

    sound of a .45 slide raking back and home…

    OK…OK… we will be quite…..

    Jeezzz what a touchy bunch of dudes….

    The “Night Before TET” Feb 28…..

    Well… Elmer… was a country comedian… right out of Nashville and what was it called… oh yeah… the Grand ol’ Opry…….(probably third string if I miss my guess)

    He had a nice little four piece band with him…... they are setting up on the stage behind the NCO club now….a drummer, guitar player, bass player and a singer…

    OH GOOD GOD…..A WOMAN….. SHIT!!!!! A ROUNDEYE!!! A BLONDE ROUNDEYE AT THAT !!!!

    Now all hell breaks loose…. the band plays….. no one hears what… it was just all LOUD country music…..

    You know…. I lost my job,

    my dog’s dead..

    my truck is broke….

    my wife ran off with the milkman…..

    my sister is pregnant my me…….

    I sure will miss that dog…...

    typical country fair…..

    BUT WHO CARES….. SHE A BLONDE ROUNDEYE!!!!!!!!

    Now I, personally don’t like blondes…. but she had a charm about her….. long straight honey blonde hair down to the middle of her butt, long legs… well built….. very well built……..reasonably sized bumpers…..and a dress that…..

    well…. a dress that……

    wait… IS THAT A DRESS????

    Well she is wearing it so it must be a dress….

    Now… you be the judge…. if your girl, who looks like this girl… went out in public wearing a dress made completely out of 3 inch by 4 inch bright orange plastic plates tied together with red warn with ½ inch gaps between them and she is NOT wearing anything under it… would YOU let her????

    No one hears the words…. just the loud music and the girl….

    Club ran out of booze thirty minutes ago…. and they just got restocked this morning….nobody cares… they are all drunk….

    On booze…..

    On the music…..

    On this GIRL…….

    OH OH… shows over, Sgt. found us…. some of us have to go to work and then have guard duty tonight

    We meet the show people, the drummer, the bass player, the HER HUSBAND….

    Jeezzz that took the wind outta some sails!!!!

    And, Oh yeah… Elmer Fudpuker himself……

    “Hey Elmer… what is it like traveling around this country”…..

    “Oh its a hoot boy…. but we have not once had any problems”….

    “You means that not once… not even once, you have seen not mortar or rocket attacks????”

    “Nope. not once…”

    I drag off to go pull my shift……. they band plays on longer……

    I have no idea how I pulled my shift…. I drank too much… and Tom is out cold……oh well…. I shoulder him and take him into the blockhouse with me… the MP checks his badge. then mine… we go to work….

    After work… we crash….for two hours…. then get up at 10:45pm and go out on guard duty… dark… quite…. except those damn frogs.. …..

    get off at 1:30AM….

    Can’t sleep…. wake up at 2:45AM….. get dressed….

    Well ……..ALMOST DRESSED………

    The first six mortar rounds impact close by…… then the sirens……more mortars… now rockets…..

    JHC!!! welcome to TET…


    ELMER… YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!






    Indybear57
    Moderator
    Posts: 298
    (5/17/01 10:04:37 am)
    | Del
    ezSupporter
    Re: “The ELMER FUDPUKER REVIEW”
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Hey Mith-the show with the cross-eyed lion was "Daktari" (I think!). About a veternarian in the African bush.

    Mike L

    Mithrandir
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 47
    (5/17/01 10:19:14 am)
    | Del Re: “The ELMER FUDPUKER REVIEW”
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    yeah... you are right..... I knew it had some sort of African theme to it..

    thanks.....


    out
     
  2. Mithrandir

    Mithrandir Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Durango Colorado, the right knee-pit of Colorado
    Here are some pictures from the night the Round Eye came...

    "The Elmer Fudpucker review"

    OK.... so her hair wasn't down to her butt... we were all drunk anyway....it would have made no difference to us....
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Mar 20, 2005

  3. SixTGunr

    SixTGunr New Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Southwest Missouri
    Super Dooper pics sir .... :)

    "Round Eye".....

    Now theres one I have'nt heard in long long time ... I used to dream about round eyes way back when ... ;)

    Thanks Mith
     
  4. Mithrandir

    Mithrandir Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2001
    Messages:
    839
    Location:
    Durango Colorado, the right knee-pit of Colorado
    YUP!! me too!!

    what do you think of her dress????
    '




    out...
     
  5. SixTGunr

    SixTGunr New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2002
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    1,515
    Location:
    Southwest Missouri
    "I likie berry much" ... :) ;) :D

    Numba One![​IMG]

    Six
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2005
  6. armedandsafe

    armedandsafe Guest

    Oh, she IS wearing a dress. :D

    Pops
     
  7. Mithrandir

    Mithrandir Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2001
    Messages:
    839
    Location:
    Durango Colorado, the right knee-pit of Colorado
    yes........but just barely!!!!




    out...