A few really cute puns

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 1952Sniper, Mar 6, 2003.

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  1. 1952Sniper

    1952Sniper New Member

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    teehee1
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 468
    (1/11/03 10:19:43 pm)
    Reply
    A few really cute puns
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    1. Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons.
    The
    stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
    carrion
    allowed per passenger."
    2. Two boll weevils grew up in the deep South. One went to Hollywood and
    became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
    never
    amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser
    of
    two weevils.
    3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
    in
    the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
    and
    heat it, too.
    4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
    to
    the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
    5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
    canal?
    He wanted to transcend dental medication.
    6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
    in
    the
    lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
    the
    manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?"
    they
    asked, as they moved off. "Because, "he said, "I can't stand chess nuts
    boasting in an open foyer."
    7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
    a
    family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
    Spain;
    they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to
    his
    birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
    wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
    twins!
    If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
    8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
    a
    small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
    from
    the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
    unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
    went
    back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
    florist
    hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
    "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
    store,
    saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did
    so,
    thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
    9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
    produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
    little,
    which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
    breath. This made him.... what? (Oh man, this is so bad, it's good). A
    super
    callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
    10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
    friends,
    with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
    Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

    "Life is not:easy, fair or cheap... sometimes bad things happen to good people"


    pickenup
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 154
    (1/12/03 1:06:37 am)
    Reply Re: A few really cute puns
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Got me cracking up.


    cointoss 2
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1202
    (1/12/03 3:44:10 pm)
    Reply
    Re: A few really cute puns
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    cointoss2


    Xracer
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3507
    (1/12/03 6:33:43 pm)
    Reply Re: A few really cute puns
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    BANG!
     
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