Abbott and Costello in 2004

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Aug 23, 2004.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Mar 25, 2003
    Western Maryland
    Abbott and Costello in 2004
    This is even funnier if you are old enough to remember seeing "Who's
    On First" by Abbott and Costello. Enjoy!!!

    Costello wants to buy a Computer from Abbott

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business.
    What have you got?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just
    say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
    type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
    some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I
    watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your business. Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can
    I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.

    COSTELLO: Great, with what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.

    COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do
    I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."

    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1."

    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?

    ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    Pretty much wiped out all the other Words.

    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
    Part of Office.

    COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial
    bookkeeping you have anything I can track my money

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

    :D :D
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mar 27, 2003
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Boy, would they have a field day with this!!

    This is great, but doesn't touch anything but the tip of the iceburg, if they were here to run with it!!!!!!

    Attached Files:

  3. ibtrukn

    ibtrukn New Member

    May 13, 2001
    central N.J.
    that is hilarious, reely funny schtuff!! :cool:
  4. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Mar 25, 2003
    Western Maryland
    Well, I'm glad you boys liked it. High praise from two of the "critics". :D :D
  5. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss Active Member

    Jan 1, 2003
    SW MS
  6. inplanotx

    inplanotx Active Member

    Jan 28, 2002
    Dats a gud un, GF! Home Run!

    Attached Files:

  7. IShootBack

    IShootBack Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2002
    Very Good...I could imagine Abott & Costelo doing it...
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon In The Vein Of Abbott & Costello Jan 31, 2008
The Pump House Saloon Abbott and Costello Do Computers Oct 18, 2003
The Pump House Saloon Abbot and Costello Apr 6, 2005