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high2fly
*Senior Chief Moderator*
Posts: 20
(7/17/01 1:12:29 pm)
| Del All ABOUT DOGS--.
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30 THINGS A DOG MUST REMEMBER
1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
lying under the
coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the
sofa or under
th ebed.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or
after they throw
it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of
clean carpet
in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
just because I
lik e the way they smell.
9. "Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not
food.
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then
redeposit them
in the backyard after processing.
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell
them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red
ones, or my
people will think I am hemorrhaging.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window
rolled down
when it's raining outside.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I
hear one on
TV .
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over
the backyard
with it.
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & dad's
laps.
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in
for mom's
driver's license and car registration.
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when
he's on the
toilet.
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the
bathroom
garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option
after just
getting a bath.
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of
saying hello.
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I
thought it was
the right thing to do.
25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the
pillow next
to their head.
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my
butt across
the carpet..
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and
just because
the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
lick my crotch
when company is over.
29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can
quickly clear a
room .
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him
and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.





Mithrandir
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 135
(7/17/01 1:26:31 pm)
| Del Re: ABOUT DOGS--.
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and 31. If I get caught doing something I shouldn't... Immediately look at the cat.....

cause the master KNOWS that the ferrets didn't do it.....





out....

homer4
Moderator
Posts: 1173
(7/18/01 8:32:01 am)
| Del Re: ABOUT DOGS--.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ole Meantome's dog all over Chief.
A blue eyed Husky and #8 is his specialty here in Ft Howard ,just a bit of not much except the fast closing VA hospital to cause traffic to make it's way here. A penninsula jutting into the Chesapeake.

...and two hard boiled eggs.
 
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