Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *Senior Chief Moderator*
    Posts: 20
    (7/17/01 1:12:29 pm)
    | Del All ABOUT DOGS--.
    1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
    lying under the
    coffee table.
    3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the
    sofa or under
    th ebed.
    4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering
    the house.
    5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or
    after they throw
    it up.
    6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of
    clean carpet
    in the house when I am about to get sick.
    7. I will not throw up in the car.
    8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
    just because I
    lik e the way they smell.
    9. "Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not
    10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then
    redeposit them
    in the backyard after processing.
    11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
    12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell
    13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red
    ones, or my
    people will think I am hemorrhaging.
    14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window
    rolled down
    when it's raining outside.
    15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I
    hear one on
    TV .
    16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over
    the backyard
    with it.
    17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & dad's
    18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
    19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in
    for mom's
    driver's license and car registration.
    20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when
    he's on the
    21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the
    garbage to avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
    22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option
    after just
    getting a bath.
    23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
    acceptable way of
    saying hello.
    24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I
    thought it was
    the right thing to do.
    25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the
    pillow next
    to their head.
    26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my
    butt across
    the carpet..
    27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and
    just because
    the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
    28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
    lick my crotch
    when company is over.
    29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can
    quickly clear a
    room .
    30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him
    and he makes
    that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 135
    (7/17/01 1:26:31 pm)
    | Del Re: ABOUT DOGS--.
    and 31. If I get caught doing something I shouldn't... Immediately look at the cat.....

    cause the master KNOWS that the ferrets didn't do it.....


    Posts: 1173
    (7/18/01 8:32:01 am)
    | Del Re: ABOUT DOGS--.
    Ole Meantome's dog all over Chief.
    A blue eyed Husky and #8 is his specialty here in Ft Howard ,just a bit of not much except the fast closing VA hospital to cause traffic to make it's way here. A penninsula jutting into the Chesapeake.

    ...and two hard boiled eggs.