Air Traffic Controller...

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by glocknut, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    Dec 14, 2003
    During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C and a D, but get it right."

    Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?"

    Naturally, the "ground control" frequency went terribly silent until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
  2. USMC-03

    USMC-03 New Member

    Oct 17, 2007
    Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest
    I heard one similar except it was with a British Airways flight into Frankfurt International. After the air traffic controller berated the pilot for going the wrong way he asked, "Haven't you ever flown here before?!"

    "Yes, twice," the pilot replied, "It was 1943 and I didn't land."

  3. ilovenxstage

    ilovenxstage New Member

    Jan 14, 2009
    One of my favourites:

    A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport."
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