AZ is not for Sissies

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by berto64, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Jan 31, 2001
    Owyhee County, Idaho
    Arizona is not for weaklings!


    May 30th:
    Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

    June 14th:
    Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

    June 30th:
    Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

    July 10th:
    The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

    July 15th:
    Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

    July 20th:
    I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my
    lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

    July 25th:
    The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive
    by and tell me he needed to order parts.

    July 30th:
    Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $275,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

    Aug. 4th:
    It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

    Aug. 8th:
    If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

    Aug. 9th:
    Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

    Aug 10th:
    The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $3700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow away. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

    Aug. 14th:
    Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 128 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What
    kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

    Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.'
  2. Hmmmm, berto64, former Arizona resident . . . now resident of Idaho. I wonder if there is any connection. :D;)

  3. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Jan 31, 2001
    Owyhee County, Idaho
    Could Be........But I survived for 30 yrs down there.
  4. You have my sympathy, berto! ;) I once spent a summertime month in Mesa one weekend. :D;)
  5. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    Gentlemen, a Brit to speak up for a US State. I love Arizona, it's big, it's wild and yes, unforgiving.

    While I have never lived there I have friends both in the north, Sedona, Flagstaff, and the South, Tucson and they seem to manage Ok. My friends in Tucson even have a cat!

    Also I think shooting is compulsory!
  6. barusah

    barusah New Member

    Jan 1, 2009
    When you come to Arizona and stay or live in Phoenix, Tucson, or Yuma; you are by no means qualified to even comment on the state of Arizona. Sissies and flatlanders (same difference), can survive in those areas. I live in the 6800 ft altitude level in the forest outside of Prescott and you need a large pair to survive up here. We only see The S & F's on weekends.....only in the summer.They can be found in the local motels and motorhomes. They usually wear drug-store cowboy attire and own a lapdog. If you spent your tour in Saigon, and I spent mine in Daktu, we would have opposite opinions of Gookenhaugen, APO. Arizona was the 48th state to join the union and in retrospect, than was a sorry ass decision.
  7. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Jan 31, 2001
    Owyhee County, Idaho
    Welcome aboard Barusah!

    You are so right, winters in your area and over in the White Mtns. can be very serious.

    Then you are at a much higher altitude than Gila Bend which is around 700 ft. give or take a few. You have natural streams & rivers still flowing up there.

    The Salt, Gila, Agua Fria and the New rivers are all dammed above Phoenix & Tucson to supply water and irrigation supply. Therefore what greenery those rivers used to nourish in the southern part of the state is gone.

    I have driven down the old Gila River bottom and found remains of Cottonwood trees as thick as my old Scout but alas, no more because they were all starved out of existence.

    Progress for a few has royally screwed some otherwise beautifull country.
  8. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff* Supporting Member

    Jan 31, 2001
    Glendale Arizona
    My family and I moved to Arizona in 1980....Lived here longer than I ever did any place. From June to early autumn, it becomes miserably hot here in the lower deserts...folks travel up to higher elevations or over to the coast at San Diego to escape the heat...We couldn't afford to do that so we tolerated the diaper rash on my six just about every summer and yes, I complained 3 ways---LONG, LOUD, FREQUENT!!!! Berto and I joke about his former residence, GILA BEND...down by the Barry Goldwater Gunnery Range for the fighter
    jocks from LUKE AFB to practice on. I have all my radios tuned to one of the oldest radio stations in CONUS...KOY/AM1230....Oldies and Goodies ...the 6AM to 10AM daily broadcast closes off with Rex Allen Jr. singing I LOVE YOU ARIZONA.... You troops back east---come visit, ya hear---bring your bucks---keep Arizona green!!!! Chief

    In 1982, the Arizona Legislature chose Arizona, a song written and performed by Rex Allen, Jr. as an alternate state anthem. Rex Allen, Jr. and his father ... - 11k - Cached - Similar pages
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