bad day at work

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by warpig, Mar 18, 2003.

  1. warpig

    warpig Guest

    Posts: 13
    (3/6/03 3:12:18 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del All bad day at work

    Next time you have a bad day at work. . . think of this guy. Rob is a
    commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
    underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2
    FM in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
    Needless to say, she won.

    "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
    had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
    work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
    it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
    first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
    office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

    So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial
    water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
    sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver
    through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

    Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
    no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
    stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
    water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
    seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
    the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.

    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
    it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
    jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
    the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
    along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say
    I aborted the dive.

    I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
    35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry

    When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
    down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
    as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my
    rectum was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
    it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.