1. ysacres

    ysacres Moderator Moderator Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2001
    Wawawai WA
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 88
    (12/11/02 9:30:02 am)
    Reply bad family
    i normally am not one to vent or whine about stuf to get pity. so maybe y'all can read this and if you think it's wrong, how's about a silent prayer (or thought about, if you're not the type that prays) about this situation.

    my mom's had cervical cancer for about 20 years. when i was a yungin i took care of her. dad left us and it was my role to change the sheets, make dinner, etc etc for mt chemotherapy enduring cancer surviving mom. ok, so i was a good kid... well, nothing big really. when someone is sick you take care of them. period.

    well, fast forward 20 years... mom's in florida and her last husband passed away. her cancer has come around a couple times and gone and she wants to move west to be close to her family. that's me in sandy eggo and relatives in colorado. so she picks vegas.

    enter my older brother. he's in the merchant marine, so doesn't really have much of a home. she made the offer to move to vegas and buy a biger house to include him, if he desired. she was going to buy a house for her and her assistant (in a live at home nurse role). he'd have to help pay mortgage and the bills as the house would be bigger than she'd get otherwise. BUT, he'd get 1/2 the house after she died before any of the rest of the estate was settled. he was ok with that.

    2 years pass and "mom didn't die fast enough" for him, so he moves out. i rush out to veas to help her move into a smaller home then as she gets ready to sell the old house, dear old bro puts a legal block on the house. it's called a lis pendens (i don't care if i spelled it right... ). he's wanting to put her into a home, so she can waste away and he wants to take the house for himself and his then girlfriend, now wife, to live in.

    welllll, in 3 hours, i get to go in and testify at a hearing over the lis pendens about the agreement and what not. what's truly sad, though, is that the stress over this lawsuit has driven mom almost to death. this lawsuit started exactly a year ago and her health has gone down in a hurry. her cancer came back stronger than ever. her kidneys failed then came back. last week, she had a bad reaction to a drug and she's in the hospital now.

    mom isn't processing her pain medication properly, and it's building to toxic levels. her care giver called me and told me how mom was clawing at the wall screaming. screaming "[insert other son's name], how could you do this to me!!" mom wasn't responding to input and is in the hopsital. has been for two days. the docs didn't think she'd make it though last night.

    anyway, there's a special place in hell for my bro, trying to drive our mom to the grave like this. i'm sorry to bring all this negativity to the TFF, but i had to vent. please don't let this bring you down... please say your prayer or make your thought ... make it for mom's happiness and her comfort. and that my bro can get his just returns.

    chris in sandy eggo in vegas not partying.

    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 4839
    (12/11/02 10:05:40 am)
    Reply Re: bad family
    Chris, unfortunately your story is often heard of now-a-days... it's truely sad that money and monetary "things" are more important to some, than "family".
    My prayers are with you and your family.

    "Tell the gossipers and liars I will see them in the fire" - Johnny Cash, Let the train whistle blow

    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 5448
    (12/11/02 10:42:46 am)
    Re: bad family
    We are here for you Chris. Take care of your Mother.
    In 49 states ignorance is a crime. In the other one it is bliss.

    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 89
    (12/11/02 2:12:31 pm)
    Reply thanks
    well folks, thanks for your thoughts and prayers thus far. my bad bro agreed to an out of court settlement this morning. we're totally surprised he accepted our offer.

    now to go see mom in the hospital and hope the good news helps her recover.

    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1403
    (12/11/02 3:05:50 pm)
    Reply Re: thanks
    Chris, A prayer for you and your Mom. Whenever you need to vent, then let 'er blow here.

    Your brother will realize his shortcomings one day here or in the hereafter.

    Posts: 1
    (12/11/02 7:50:09 pm)
    Reply Re: thanks
    I hope she cuts him out of the will before it's too late.

    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 5127
    (12/11/02 10:20:54 pm)
    Re: thanks
    Prayers for your mother and yourself.

    And may your brother get his just rewards...

    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 2868
    (12/11/02 11:19:58 pm)
    Reply Re: thanks
    Chris, you indeed would be amazed at how many people in different families have acted just like your brother. The important thing is you are not like him, and your dear mother can be proud to have a son like you.

    Prayers go out to you and your mother during these trying times, but have faith and put it in God's hands...He will see you both through it...who knows, maybe even your brother will come to see the errors of his ways.

    Take care, and best regards to your family to survive this.


    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 90
    (12/12/02 12:47:22 am)
    Reply it's gettin along
    hey everyone,

    many many thanks for your thoughts and prayers!!

    as far as cutting the evil bro out of the will... well, that was done a year ago. 14 months ago, my wife and i visited mom and her health advocate and we all started talking about the bad brother who started taking no interest in the household or in mom's life. he had essentially moved out and we could see that he wanted out of the agreement and prepared for it. we weren't prepared for him trying to steal the house out from under mom so he and his ... very new female companion ... could live there together.

    he announced his intent to not make payments the day before thanksgiving last year. within two weeks, we had taken every fiscal action possible to protect family assets from him. this included rewriting the trust (removing him), repo-ing "his" car that was in mom's name, closing all accounts with her name on it and moving to other accounts.

    today, we visited mom and she wasn't responsive. she didn't recognize me, wife, or advocate. one of her docs thinks that since she has made it through the worst of it, she will pull around again, but will certainly have to live without many of the medications that are ... well... basically considered necessary.

    mom's a fighter... only way to kick cervical cancer for 23 , 24 years. her mortality isn't a question, it's a matter of time. it just would be real nice if she could know and understand that we've prevailed against the evin son that's driven here to where she is now.

    tomorrow will be busy... then i'll have radio silence over the weekend (attending an event). seriously, thanks again for y'all's help. some folks might say that "fate" would have happened either way, but i'd like to think that your extra thoughts helped that little bit to get the settlement... and to get mom to come around again.

    thanks for y'all's help!
    chris in sandy eggo

    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 104
    (12/14/02 2:05:27 am)
    Reply Re: it's gettin along
    You have my thoughts and prayers.
    I'd give about anything to have my mom back again.

    Posts: 28
    (12/18/02 7:19:22 am)
    Reply damn man im sorry to hear...
    i am very sorry for what you are going through, if it was my bro i think i would literaly beat the living shit out of him...