Beer and wine wisdom! You just can't argue with this stuff.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Pat Hurley, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. Pat Hurley

    Pat Hurley Former Guest

    Sep 30, 2006
    Naples, Florida
    The Value of a Drink

    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
    I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
    about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
    and dreams ... If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
    of work and their dreams would be shattered.
    Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
    dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    ~ Jack Handy

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
    wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
    going to feel all day. "
    ~Frank Sinatra

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
    ~ Henny Youngman

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
    ~ Stephen Wright

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
    we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
    When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
    get drunk and go to heaven!"
    ~ Brian O'Rourke

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
    "Without question, the greatest invention in the
    history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
    wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
    not go nearly as well with pizza."
    ~ Dave Barry

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
    To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to

    his buddy Norm.
    Here's how it went:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast

    as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and

    weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good

    for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole

    group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In

    much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest

    brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But

    naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way,

    regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the

    brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter

    after a few beers."
  2. obxned

    obxned Active Member

    Mar 4, 2007
    In my twelve step program, each one has a pop-top.

  3. MarineD316

    MarineD316 New Member

    Jun 22, 2007
    Louisville, KY
    Beer= Distilled water, Wheat, Barley, various grains
    I say it's a health drink!

    AL MOUNT Active Member

    Oct 9, 2006
    Cleaning my Thompson in The Foothills of the Ozark
    In the immortal words of Tom T. Hall.....:D

    I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow

    I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes him feel mellow)

    Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear

    This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer

    My wife often frowns when we're out on the town

    And I'm wearing a suit and a tie

    She's sipping vermouth and she thinks i'm uncouth

    When I yell as the waiter goes by

    Last night I dreamed that I passed from the scene

    And I went to a place so sublime

    Aw, the water was clear and tasted like beer

    Then they turned it all into wine (awww)

    I like beer. it makes me a jolly good fellow

    I like beer. it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow

    Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, and vodka puts my mouth in gear

    Aw, this little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact..... I love beer.......:D
  5. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mar 27, 2003
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
  6. Mosin_Nagant_Fan

    Mosin_Nagant_Fan Active Member

    Jan 18, 2007
    Montgomery, AL
    I like the taste of some wine, red and some white, but I like my Vodka and Rum, too. Never much of a beer person, though.
  7. bunnyhunter12

    bunnyhunter12 New Member

    May 8, 2007
    Newfoundland, Canada
    Great post. There's a quote from I can't remeber whom that runs something like; What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

    And as my uncle always said, "I'm starving, run to the fridge and get me a beer, that's as good as two slices of bread."
  8. armedandsafe

    armedandsafe Guest

    I believe that was W. C. Fields. :D

    He also said, "A most marvelous thing happened when I woke up this morning."
    "I woke up." :D

  9. polishshooter

    polishshooter Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2001
    I'm on vacation, it's hot as heck, I just got done trimming the trees and the hedges, cleaning up, and then mowing the whole acre+....

    A couple of Miller Lites and a Shiner Bock hit the spot!

    My Boss got me into Shiner Bock down in Dallas for a meeting, then lo and behold, my wife and I go to "Jungle Jims" in Cincinatti, a marvelous place, picture a BIG 150,000 square foot grocery store (or MORE!) with stuff from all over the WORLD, with a beer/wine/liquor/cigar humidor/Beer cave section alone that takes up at LEAST 25000-30000 square feet!

    And BESIDES Genny Cream Ale which only a guy from Buffalo can appreciate, they ALSO have Shiner Bock!

    Now I don't know what I prefer more on a hot day after working outside....a Genny Cream, or a Shiner Bock! Talk about Heaven, Genny Cream and Shiner Bock in the SAME store!:p

    And then considering my wife ISN'T on vacation, I noblely volunteered to make dinner, TOO, how about that....:p

    Tha venison roast in the crockpot with the mushroom soup and onions is smelling MIGHTY good.....

    Maybe I'll have another Shiner....

    I'm a simple man, most days all I drink is beer-coffee-water, not necessarily in that order....;)

    I SAVE the good Scotch and Bourbon for "special occasions....":)
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2007
  10. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

    Aug 27, 2005
    Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point
    I can invent a special occasion as needed. But I love my microbrews, too!
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
General Discussion Your favorite beer... Aug 31, 2016
General Discussion Bread, beer, gas and 22's Jan 11, 2015
General Discussion Cream ale beer? Apr 29, 2014
General Discussion do YOU treat your dog to BEER! Sep 23, 2012