Can i get some questions answered?

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by cycloneman, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

    Dec 16, 2008
    Bugs Bunny always said if you can’t beat them join them.
    So I guess I will look in to this muslim thingie. Who knows maybe I will want to join. After all you do get 72 virgins. But first I want some questions answered.
    1. Do you get to pick out the virgins, or are they assigned to you? Because if they are assigned then that’s gona call the deal off. I am kinda picky about my harem and want some of the girls to look like Patty Smyth. OOOOOO she’s hot. Hay now we are talking about girls of the human race right? Because if it’s virgin donkey’s or something other than women I am not into to that.
    2. Now someone please tell me what are you suppose to do with 72 virgin women? I mean that’s a lot of sex on my part. Will you be allowed to have Viagra in heaven?
    3. What about food? I will need lots of protein to keep me going with lots of good juice to drink. Do you get pizza in muslim heaven? What about beer? I don’t think muslims like alcohol.
    4. You know your gona need a good smoke after. Will American cigarettes be available? Well maybe since I will have all those girls I should just smoke pot. Does alla allow pot?
    5. There better be someone to get all the girls tampons. I am not going to buy tampons for 72 women. Do you think all the wallgreens in muslim heaven will be jammed packed? Cause long lines are not my thing.
    6. How old are these virgins? I mean are they 7, 17 or 77. Makes a big difference don’t you think?
    7. How many showers a day do you think I would have to take?
    8. Do you get to sleep with them all at one time? I don’t know I think that is a stretch don’t you?
    9. One thing for sure I am not sharing a bed with 72 girls. I want my space afterwards.
    10. Do muslim virgins require foreplay? I guess not, being that women can be buried up to their neck and stoned to death. I guess they don’t have much say. That’s good cause if you had to give all those girls foreplay it would take a month of Sundays.
    11. Has anyone sent a postcard from the afterlife to tell us how things are?

    Now you should know I am not serious about anything I have written so far but I am serious about this next question.

    What is the mental illness called that makes you believe the crap I wrote above? Any doctors in the house?
  2. Carne Frio

    Carne Frio Well-Known Member

    Aug 28, 2008
    Near Fairbanks

  3. Helix_FR

    Helix_FR Active Member

    Apr 14, 2009
    Imperial, MO
    Its call stupidity or the latin for it is lackus commonsensus. Many people have it but its on different levels. Some of us can cure ourselves most fall to the teachings of their too stupid brethren.
  4. 199er

    199er New Member

    May 5, 2010
    Columbia SC

    I'm not a doctor, but as a lay person I've always thought their compliance with what you pointed out was less of a mental disorder and more of a "developmental disability" such as the one depicted below.

    "Cranial Rectal Inversion" ;)

    Your problem is obvious.gif
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  5. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

    Apr 10, 2009
    NE Ar. W. of Black River
  6. Rneck

    Rneck Member

    Nov 1, 2009
    here's another cranial rectal inversion, it might be obama

    Attached Files:

  7. Skipper

    Skipper Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Jul 17, 2008
    People's Republic of Kalifornia
  8. carver

    carver Moderator Supporting Member

    Jul 28, 2008
    DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of E. Texas!
    #1. You don't get to pick the virgins, they are already there waiting for you to join them.
    #2. No viagria! No matter how many times you have sex with them, they stay virgins.
    #3. No food, no pizzia, and definately no beer!
    #4. No cigarettes, and no pot!
    #5. No tampons, no Wallgreens, live with it!
    #6. Age doesn't come into it. You know that Muslims marry very young girls, so they will probably be on the young side. Say 8 - 10; no tampons needed.
    #7. You don't get showers, you just get to wash your hands, feet, and face.
    #8. Sure, all in one room.
    #9. You'll have plenty of space since you will all be sleeping on the floor.
    #10. No foreplay, unless you want it. They have no say in the matter.
    #11. Nope!

    If given a choice would you believe that stuff? Nope! But what if you had no choice but to accept it or die? I think they call that coercion.
  9. xm774u

    xm774u Former Guest

    Jul 25, 2010
    beond the great abiss
    every thing i leaned about muslums i learned on 911 not really gulf 1 vet but you get the point
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