Did they land on their heads?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 358 winchester, May 7, 2009.

  1. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    Ya gotta wonder if they were dropped on the heads as children


    Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

    A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

    A young teller was new to the job when she was approached by her first robber. Noticing that the man's grammar was not the greatest, the teller figured that the would be criminal was slightly slow. She told the robber that he had to have an account to rob a bank. Disappointed, the man left.

    A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

    A criminal who broke into a couple's house started to take the TV, but instead he turned it on and began to watch. He supposedly liked the program that was on and laid down on the bed. Since it was at night he was tired and fell asleep. So when the couple came home the next day they found him and called the police.

    A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.


    Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

    David Posman, 33, was arrested in Providence, Rhode Island, after knocking out an armored car driver and stealing four bags of money. Each bag contained $800 dollars. However, the bags weighed thirty pounds each since they all contained pennies. The hefty bags slowed the fleeting criminal to a sluggish stagger. Police easily ran down and arrested the suspect.

    A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.


    Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    and last but not least...

    When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
     
  2. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

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    I think alot of those were the result of drug use... and good ol governator schwartzeneger(sp)? wants to legalize the stuff. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

    mike
    gn
     

  3. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    I'd heard the bus one before, so knew it was bogus.

    Suspected the one about the Swedish writer was. While shredders have been in existence for a while (they had one at the bank where I worked in 1976) I never saw one of the small shredders until waaay into the computer age. So, this guy was so dumb that he did it on a typewriter, with no carbons, so he only had one copy, and the machine was so fast that it did the shredding of 250 pages in "a few seconds". 50,000 shreds divided by 250 pages comes out to 200 shreds per page. Standard 8.5-wide paper divided by 200 shreds comes out to 0.04" per shred. Regular shredders are 0.25". Good shredders are 0.125". I've never heard of one that would make shreds 1/32" wide.

    A copper penny weighs 3.11 grams. The copper-plated zinc ones weigh 2.5 grams. 800 dollars per bag. That's 80,000 pennies times 3.11 grams equals 248,800, divided by 453.6 (grams in a pound) is 550 pounds per bag. If you do it with modern pennies, at 2.5 grams, you get 440 pounds per bag. This is the one that really got me thinking. As I said, I worked at a bank. Pennies came in 50-dollar bags, that weighed 35 pounds. So a 800-dollar bag weighing 50 pounds had to be wrong.
     
  4. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    But they are still funny even if they are wrong :D
     
  5. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

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    Win great stories made me ROFL :) :D :p

    Alpo you had to go ruin it for every one didnt you :( :( :( :( just kidding haha :p
    Nice research!!!
     
  6. AL MOUNT

    AL MOUNT Active Member

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    They walk among us...... :eek:

    And most vote Democratic :rolleyes:
     
  7. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    I agree, they are extremely funny.

    Just so many people will see a post like this, and think it's true. Like the story about the guy wrecking his Winnebago, by putting it on cruise control (thinking that was "automatic pilot") and then getting up and going back to the fridge, and then when the driverless RV crashed, suing Winnebago and winning.

    Great story. Funny story. Not true.
     
  8. pickenup

    pickenup Active Member

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    Prime examples of the need to clean the gene pool.
     
  9. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    I've found that the best way to disprove these-type stories (although it won't prove a story true, it can prove a story false) is to do the math.

    Like the "Micro-Soft email Beta Test".

    If I forward this email to 10 people, Gates is gonna give me 500 bucks for each one. That's 5 grand.

    They each forward it to ten people. That's 100 people, so Bill is out 50 grand to them, plus he will give me an additional 250 each. That's another 25 grand, so that's 75 grand for this round, plus the 5 grand for the first one - 80 thousand dollars.

    They each forward it to ten people. That's a thousand people. Bill is out 500 grand for that, plus the ten people in layer # 2 get an extra 25 grand each, making 250 thousand, and I only get a piddling 50 bucks for this third layer, but since there are 1000 people in this layer, I get 50 grand. So this layer is 800 thousand dollars. Making 880 thousand dollars for a grand total of 111 people sending the email on.

    I have gotten 5 grand, plus 25 grand, plus 50 grand, making me get 80 thousand dollars. I don't get any more (three layers is where it ends for the original sender), but if the thousand people in layer three forward it to ten each, that's 10 thousand people. It don't take too long for it to add up to enough to bankrupt Billy Gates.

    But people still send it on. They don't ever count. They don't ever think. They just, "Oh, wow. I'm gonna be rich".
     
  10. kutaho

    kutaho New Member

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    I think Ron White said it best "Theirs no fixing stupid"
     
  11. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    But they came close when they did brain surgery on me :D
     
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