Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by rooter, May 12, 2010.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff* Supporting Member

    Jan 31, 2001
    Glendale Arizona
    And they ask---Why I Like Retirement?

    Question: How many days in a week?
    Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

    Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
    Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

    Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
    Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

    Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
    Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

    Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
    Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

    Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
    Answer: Tied shoes.

    Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
    Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

    Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
    Answer: NUTS!

    Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
    Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

    Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
    Answer: Normal

    Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
    Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

    Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
    Answer : If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

    Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?

    Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

    Question: What do you do all week?
    Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

    Share this one with all the retirees that you know.
    I'm sure they can relate to some of them!

    AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.

    Happiness is a voyage, not a destination,
    There is no better time to be happy than... NOW
  2. williamd

    williamd New Member

    Mar 21, 2007
    Thankfully my 'retirement' is not nearly as boring as most of the posting makes it seem. Consult some, do a little web work, shoot trap/skeet/bench/handgun (not enough), have 5 acres to tend in SoCal and a farm I have to visit regularly in TX, 4 bird dogs to see after (or see after me!), etc. Plus, avid reader. Essentially no TV! I run out of time for hobbies. I DO NOT miss the ol' 0700-1800 stuff!:)

  3. 199er

    199er New Member

    May 5, 2010
    Columbia SC
    I retired in January of this year and actually found it rather slow paced and uneventful compared to my schedule when working. I quickly adjusted my routine and now aside from my wife's ongoing 'honeydos', house/yard maintenance my weekly routine includes; volunteer work twice weekly at our local food bank; donating time at our local VA hospital talking with our young returning combat veterans on how to 'navigate' the VA health care system with minimal difficulty (this often seems like is a fulltime job). I generally shoot every saturday at Ft Jackson (SC) civilian 200 meter KD range. I also make time to workout 3x a week plus make time to be grand father. I'm looking forward to being the resident 'worker' on my 4 man 500 acre hunt club. I am finding retirement great as long as I keep an active schedule.
  4. Gun Geezer

    Gun Geezer Well-Known Member

    Oct 5, 2009
    Central Florida
    I am coming up on my 12th year of retirement. It's hard to imagine ever having had enough time to work. The days, weeks, month and years just fly by. The only thing that's not so good are the more frequent doctor visits but soon I imagine I'll be forced to die so that there is enough money to pay for the health care of those who just couldn't force themselves to work hard for 35 years to earn it.
  5. Popeye

    Popeye Member

    Jul 3, 2005
    Sacramento area, CA
    The US Army disability retired me at the ripe old age of twenty-four. After five years of pulling my feces back together, I got bored and started volunteering at a wheelchair shop. (The docs had told me that I be living in a wheelchair by the time I was 40 so I figured I should learn all I could about them.)

    The volunteering soon turned into a paying job and at the end of fifteen years, I was running the place. Around that time the VA contacted the DAV and said they had screwed up 20 years past and that they owed me an obscene amount of money.

    I retired again. I got bored again. Now, I work three days a week at a local gun store.

    I don't do retirement well.

    Oh yeah, I beat them! I am still able to stand on my feet and walk.
    Last edited: May 14, 2010
  6. carver

    carver Moderator Supporting Member

    Jul 28, 2008
    DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of E. Texas!
    After retireing in '97, I've been bussy keeping up a little 7 acre place here in East TX. I thought working for a living was hard!!! Cut the grass, trim the trees, work the fence line, spray the honey suckle, and briers, cultivate, and plant a garden, plant food, fruit tree food. I have grapes, plums, pears, peaches, figs, and so on. Three dogs to feed and care for, dog food alone cost well over $100 a month, and the list goes on! Then I joined up with our local Tea Party group! Last April 15th was a 12 hour day for me. I need a break from retirement!
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