Dogs & Cats

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by XShooter, May 11, 2009.

  1. XShooter

    XShooter New Member

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    Dogs and Cats
    Author Unknown

    There should never be any doubt as to which
    is the superior species . . .

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
    ===========================

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!






    Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
    ===========================


    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2009

  2. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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  3. Insulation Tim

    Insulation Tim Well-Known Member

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    Being life long cat owners, I heartily agree with everything.
     
  4. GMFWoodchuck

    GMFWoodchuck New Member

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    Sounds like the dog and cats I know...:D
     
  5. fmacsin1

    fmacsin1 New Member

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    That's why when betting on which one will win in a dog/cat fight, take the cat every time!
     
  6. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

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    I think if you read the diary of a shorthair cat it would read significantly different than that one which was obviously written by a longhair himalayan(sp)? LOL

    mike
    gn
     
  7. kutaho

    kutaho New Member

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    don't they meow with a lisp.