What to do if seated next to a jerk on an airplane... 1. Take out your laptop. 2. Slowly open your laptop. 3. Turn it on. 4. Make certain your neighbor is watching. 5. Open your Internet browser. 6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open them, and then look up to the sky, or the heavens, if you will. 7. Breathe deeply and open the following site: http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html 8. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face.