I have just 2 options- go through it kicking and screaming, or with resolve that it will be over soon. Talking with the Lord has helped me to settle down. There are parts of this that I want nothing to do with. This is going to happen, one way or another. The likelihood of having the severe surgery seems to be subsiding. I have been successful at staying out of hospitals. Until recently. Once this is done, that should be it.