GOOD, CLEAN HUMOR ......

Discussion in 'VMBB General Discussion' started by rooter, May 9, 2009.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff* Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    18,673
    Location:
    Glendale Arizona
    I miss Old Red Skelton, he was funny!!!

    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship
    She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas.

    3. I take my wife everywhere....
    but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric
    toaster and electric bread maker.
    She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
    to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
    because there was water in the carburetor.
    I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

    8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
    for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    12.. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'



    Can't you just hear him say all of these?

    I love it.........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

    And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless'
     
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