GOOD ONE-LINERS--.

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    low2go
    *Senior Chief Moderator*
    Posts: 397
    (6/8/01 6:17:55 pm)
    | Del All GOOD ONE-LINERS--.
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    1. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
    >
    > 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
    >
    > 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects
    >
    > you to kiss his ring
    >
    > 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
    >
    > 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
    > the bathroom.
    >
    > 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the
    > drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled the mood.
    >
    > 8. A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the
    > impression he just cleaned the whole house.
    >
    > 9. My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a
    > large
    > trash can.
    >
    > 10. The only thing wrong with a beautiful drive to work is that you
    > still end up at work.
    >
    > 11. Americans are getting stronger. 50 years ago, you needed a
    > station-wagon to hold $10 worth of groceries. 20 years ago, it took two
    >
    > people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Now, a
    > five-year-old can do it.
    >
    > 12. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me
    > off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal
    > fluid."
    >
    > 13. I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for
    > Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
    > building.
    >
    > 14. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
    > and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured
    > and he
    > didn't have to worry about a Will. He said,
    > Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite."
    >
    > 15. Clinton is in the supermarket picking up some things for the new
    > office when a stock! boy accidentally bumps into
    > him. "Pardon me," the stock boy says. "Sure," Clinton replies, "but
    > it'll
    > cost you."
    >
    > 16. Jesse Jackson, Jim Bakker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
    > impressive
    > new book ... It's called: "Ministers Do
    > More Than Lay People"
    >


    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 837
    (6/8/01 7:01:32 pm)
    | Del Re: GOOD ONE-LINERS--.
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    Another Hehe for ya Chief.
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.