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low2go
*Senior Chief Moderator*
Posts: 397
(6/8/01 6:17:55 pm)
| Del All GOOD ONE-LINERS--.
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1. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
>
> 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
>
> 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects
>
> you to kiss his ring
>
> 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
>
> 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
> the bathroom.
>
> 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the
> drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled the mood.
>
> 8. A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the
> impression he just cleaned the whole house.
>
> 9. My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a
> large
> trash can.
>
> 10. The only thing wrong with a beautiful drive to work is that you
> still end up at work.
>
> 11. Americans are getting stronger. 50 years ago, you needed a
> station-wagon to hold $10 worth of groceries. 20 years ago, it took two
>
> people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Now, a
> five-year-old can do it.
>
> 12. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me
> off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal
> fluid."
>
> 13. I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for
> Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
> building.
>
> 14. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was
> and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured
> and he
> didn't have to worry about a Will. He said,
> Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite."
>
> 15. Clinton is in the supermarket picking up some things for the new
> office when a stock! boy accidentally bumps into
> him. "Pardon me," the stock boy says. "Sure," Clinton replies, "but
> it'll
> cost you."
>
> 16. Jesse Jackson, Jim Bakker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
> impressive
> new book ... It's called: "Ministers Do
> More Than Lay People"
>


homer4
Moderator
Posts: 837
(6/8/01 7:01:32 pm)
| Del Re: GOOD ONE-LINERS--.
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Another Hehe for ya Chief.
...and two hard boiled eggs.
 
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