How women and men take a shower

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by warpig, Feb 24, 2003.

  1. warpig

    warpig Guest

    AGunguy
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1325
    (2/10/02 10:14:05 pm)
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    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

    -Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

    -Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
    along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    -Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note - must do more sit-ups.

    -Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    -Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    -Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    -Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

    -Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

    -Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

    -Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

    -Shave armpits and legs.

    -Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

    -Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water
    pressure.

    -Turn off the shower.

    -Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    -Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    -Get out of shower.

    -Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    -Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

    -Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

    -Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    -If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and
    then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

    -Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    -Walk naked to the bathroom.

    -If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo"
    sound.

    - Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

    -Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.

    -Fart.

    -Get in the shower.

    -Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

    -Wash your face.

    -Wash your armpits.

    -Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

    -Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

    -Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

    -Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

    -Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

    -Make a shampoo Mohawk.

    -Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

    -Pee (in the shower).

    -Rinse off and get out of the shower.

    -Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the
    tub the whole time.

    -Partially dry off.

    -Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

    -Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

    -Leave bathroom fan and light on.

    -Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull
    off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

    -Throw wet towel on the bed.

    -Get dressed in under two minutes.

    -Fart


    Gunguy

    twins
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 209
    (2/11/02 12:19:57 am)
    Reply | Edit | Del How women and men take a shower
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    LMAO, I laugh more and more every time I read that.

    cointoss 2
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 446
    (2/11/02 10:22:27 am)
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    Re: How women and men take a shower
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    Yes, it is a classic!
    cointoss2

    LIKTOSHOOT
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3732
    (2/11/02 10:31:41 am)
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    and remember.......don`t fart in the shower, as steam intensifies the aroma by ten. Thud!

    BlackGun
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 3007
    (2/11/02 10:41:00 am)
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    Re: How women and men take a shower
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    The sad part about it is that it's all true, except about look at your weiner in the miror, I can't see mine for the Donut roll (sigh)!
    Tread On Me, But, Leave My DONUT Alone! !


    BlackGUN

    Different name
    V.I.P. Forum Host
    Posts: 1272
    (2/11/02 4:29:50 pm)
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    I'm confused! Just when did you guys start taking a SHOWER?
    THOT ya jus threw on sum OLD SPICE er sumthin!
    Things are lookin up roun here....
    Charlie D

    No more flakin dry skin --- rite Guys?

    Edited by: Different name at: 2/11/02 8:20:59 pm

    archangelreb
    Member
    Posts: 7
    (2/11/02 8:06:59 pm)
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    ROFLMAO

    warpig883
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 2417
    (2/13/02 1:13:09 pm)
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    Every bit of it is the golldanged truth or should I say dat b d trute
    We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans... -- Bill Clinton, US President (USA Today, 11 Mar 1993, page 2a)
     
  2. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2008
    Messages:
    10,202
    Location:
    Louisiana
    LMAO

    Where has this one been? 2003:D
     

  3. red14

    red14 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2009
    Messages:
    4,019
    Location:
    N FLA
    .


    Shower?




    ?