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AGunguy
*TFF Staff*
Posts: 1325
(2/10/02 10:14:05 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del All How women and men take a shower
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note - must do more sit-ups.

-Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

-Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

-Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.

-Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

-Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).

-Shave armpits and legs.

-Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

-Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water
pressure.

-Turn off the shower.

-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

-Spray mold spots with Tilex.

-Get out of shower.

-Dry with towel the size of a small country.

-Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

-Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.

-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

-If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and
then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

-Walk naked to the bathroom.

-If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo"
sound.

- Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).

-Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.

-Fart.

-Get in the shower.

-Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).

-Wash your face.

-Wash your armpits.

-Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.

-Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

-Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.

-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.

-Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).

-Make a shampoo Mohawk.

-Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.

-Pee (in the shower).

-Rinse off and get out of the shower.

-Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the
tub the whole time.

-Partially dry off.

-Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.

-Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

-Leave bathroom fan and light on.

-Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull
off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

-Throw wet towel on the bed.

-Get dressed in under two minutes.

-Fart


Gunguy

twins
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 209
(2/11/02 12:19:57 am)
Reply | Edit | Del How women and men take a shower
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LMAO, I laugh more and more every time I read that.

cointoss 2
*TFF Staff*
Posts: 446
(2/11/02 10:22:27 am)
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Re: How women and men take a shower
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Yes, it is a classic!
cointoss2

LIKTOSHOOT
*TFF Senior Staff*
Posts: 3732
(2/11/02 10:31:41 am)
Reply | Edit | Del Re: How women and men take a shower
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and remember.......don`t fart in the shower, as steam intensifies the aroma by ten. Thud!

BlackGun
*TFF Staff*
Posts: 3007
(2/11/02 10:41:00 am)
Reply | Edit | Del
Re: How women and men take a shower
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The sad part about it is that it's all true, except about look at your weiner in the miror, I can't see mine for the Donut roll (sigh)!
Tread On Me, But, Leave My DONUT Alone! !


BlackGUN

Different name
V.I.P. Forum Host
Posts: 1272
(2/11/02 4:29:50 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del Re: How women and men take a shower
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I'm confused! Just when did you guys start taking a SHOWER?
THOT ya jus threw on sum OLD SPICE er sumthin!
Things are lookin up roun here....
Charlie D

No more flakin dry skin --- rite Guys?

Edited by: Different name at: 2/11/02 8:20:59 pm

archangelreb
Member
Posts: 7
(2/11/02 8:06:59 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del Re: How women and men take a shower
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ROFLMAO

warpig883
*TFF Staff*
Posts: 2417
(2/13/02 1:13:09 pm)
Reply | Edit | Del Re: How women and men take a shower
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Every bit of it is the golldanged truth or should I say dat b d trute
We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans... -- Bill Clinton, US President (USA Today, 11 Mar 1993, page 2a)
 
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