JEWISH WHIMS--.

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    low2go
    *Senior Chief Moderator*
    Posts: 396
    (6/8/01 6:16:06 pm)
    | Del All JEWISH WHIMS--.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Beyond Loving Rye Bread....


    If you are an aspiring Jew or married into a Jewish family, or
    dating a Jew, there are certain things you must know to survive.

    Take (or give) this quiz to see if you've learned enough to function
    in your Jewish family:

    1. There are no Jews living in:

    a. sin

    b. El Paso

    c. trailer parks

    2. The cleaning lady in a Jewish household is expected to:

    a. do windows

    b. make latkes

    c. attend all bar mitzvahs and weddings

    3. To make a good pet for a Jewish child, an animal must be:

    a. gentle

    b. housebroken

    c. stuffed

    4. Jews spend their vacations:

    a. sightseeing

    b. sunbathing

    c. Discussing where they spent their last vacation and where
    they'll
    spend the next one.

    5. If there's a hairdresser in your immediate family, you are:

    a. up on the newest styles

    b. entitled to free haircuts

    c. not Jewish

    6. Wilderness means:

    a. no running water

    b. no electricity

    c. no hot and sour soup

    7. The most popular outdoor sport among Jews is:

    a. jogging

    b. tennis

    c. howling over the neighbors lawn ornaments

    8. Jews never drive:

    a. unsafely

    b. on Saturdays

    c. eighteen wheelers

    9. A Jewish skydiver is:
    a. careful

    b. insured

    c. an apparition

    10. Jews never sing:

    a. off-key

    b. "Nel Blu di Pinto di Blue"

    c. around a piano bar


    12. Jews are ambivalent about:

    a. vegetarianism

    b. Jesse Jackson

    c. Absolutely nothing

    Scoring: Take 1 point for each "a" answer, 2 for each "b," 3 for
    each "c."

    32-36: Mazel Tov! You know a lot about Jewish people. Either you've
    studied your loved one's family carefully out of desire for true closeness,
    plus you respect their traditions, or you're from either Florida, Boston or
    New York

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 838
    (6/8/01 7:03:29 pm)
    | Del Re: JEWISH WHIMS--.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yet another Chief...Hehe!
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.