Life As A Child

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by killbuck, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. killbuck

    killbuck New Member

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    > You really have to be an archer or a black powder enthusiatist or a suthen boy to really appreciate this one!!!!

    Life as a child

    Unknown child's name... but he was in Mississippi

    Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

    That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3 ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

    One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner...lets face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether, really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

    At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz. ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

    I stepped back about 15 ft. and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH **** he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh. ****.

    When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft. above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE. There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That thing got up and ran off.

    So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

    I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks Mom.

    One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.
    It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.


    Author Unknown... but he was in Mississippi
     
  2. WomenofCaliber

    WomenofCaliber New Member

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  3. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

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    Mouth breather!
     
  4. USMC-03

    USMC-03 New Member

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    Ad a copy of Improvised Munitions Handbook and two equally brain damaged friends, change the arrows to home made bombs and the stump to a big boulder and I remember it well...
     
  5. chemfantry

    chemfantry New Member

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    I remember that TM, USMC. It was full of hours of entertainment. I still have a copy somewhere.......
     
  6. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    good story, funny
     
  7. USMC-03

    USMC-03 New Member

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    I know exactly where mine is...
     
  8. killbuck

    killbuck New Member

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    Hmmm...maybe I should get that manual. Life is getting boring at 67. LOL
     
  9. Gabob

    Gabob Well-Known Member

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    When I was a teenager my buddy and I did something similar. We had another friend who came over every afternoon in "Flattery" his Model A which sometimes got us nowhere. When he arrives he immediately raided the fridge and ate everything in sight. We decided to make a land mine and blow up the driveway in front of him. The mine was to be made of rolled up magazines filled with one pound of black powder. The igniter was a board with two nails attached to 120 volt wires with steel wool beween the nails which flashed when current was applied. While my cohort was making the plug to go in top of the rolled magazines I took a match and held to a piece of steel wool. Makes nice sparks. That was when a spark fell into the tube of black powder. Did I mention we were in a two car garage? Luckily the door was ajar so we didn't blow out the windows. My buddy wore glasses which now were covered with a white film as he staggered around. The smoke was so thick that we could not see across the room. When my friend regained his senses enough he wiped off his glasses and said"Why did you do that ?"
     
  10. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

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    The dog arises quietly, and leaves the room . . . .
     
  11. chemfantry

    chemfantry New Member

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    TM 31-210. I actually have an original copy and not one of the reproductions now found at gun shows. If I were at home, I am sure I could put my hands on it.
     
  12. Mr. Nameless

    Mr. Nameless New Member

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    Well when I was thierteen I decided to tape 4 M-80s to about 8 cans of hairspray. Don't ask how or why, I just wanted to. Well, what i didn't realize was the cans were full. Long story short we were short about 8 birdhouses that were 18 feet apart.
     
  13. CampingJosh

    CampingJosh Well-Known Member

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  14. killbuck

    killbuck New Member

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  15. Big_Guns

    Big_Guns New Member

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    You know those toy cannons they sell? Did you notice the barrel is just the right size for a broomstick? So if you cut a piece of broomstick about a foot long, then use it to tamp down some black powder into the barrel, you can hit the side of a girls house from almost a block away. Did you know that it makes a neat noise hitting siding? Did you know the girl is unimpressed if you miss the siding and it goes thru her window instead? Did you know your parents will also be unimpressed?