Man Talk

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    dreamcatcher27371
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 125
    (7/23/01 11:38:33 am)
    | Del All Man Talk
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    We heard the women's, now here's the men's...:


    1."I'M GOING FISHING"
    Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
    stupid, and stand by a
    stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
    swim by in complete
    safety."

    2."IT'S A GUY THING"
    Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
    connected with it, and
    you have no chance at all of making it logical".


    3."CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    4."UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
    Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
    response.

    5."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Means: "I have no idea how it works."

    6."I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I
    HAVE
    THINGS ON MY
    MIND."
    Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over
    there
    is wearing a bra."

    7."TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".

    Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
    cleaner."

    8."THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Means: "Are you still talking?"

    9."YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
    the address of the
    first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
    identification numbers of
    every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your
    birthday."

    10."I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU
    THESE ROSES".
    Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was
    a
    real babe."

    11."OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO
    BIG
    DEAL."
    Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will

    bleed to death
    before admit that I'm hurt."

    12."HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M
    DOING".
    Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty
    soon."

    13."I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
    hands,
    so I'm completely
    clueless."

    14."WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Means: "What did you catch me at?"

    15."I HEARD YOU."
    Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
    just
    said, and am
    hoping desperately that I can fake it well
    enough so that you don't
    spend
    the
    next 3 days yelling at me."

    16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and

    realize it could be
    worse."

    17."YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm

    starving."

    18."I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    19."WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
    Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up


    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 1248
    (7/23/01 12:11:02 pm)
    | Del Man Talk
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    Married! Are we Catch? Hehe!

    oneknight
    Moderator
    Posts: 1529
    (7/23/01 2:58:14 pm)
    | Del Re: Man Talk
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    Oh, but we're not through......that means WE'LL BE BACK.
    lol!




    Donna

    Rons Toys
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 70
    (7/25/01 12:06:52 pm)
    | Del Re: Man Talk
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    THIS IS FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING JOKES
    >
    > How many men does it take to open a beer?
    > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

    > Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
    > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
    will never be able to support you.

    > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    > So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    > How do you know when a woman is about to say something
    smart?
    > When she starts her sentence with "A man once said..."

    > How do you fix a woman's watch?
    > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
    yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    > The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let
    him in.

    > All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you
    can tell them apart.

    > I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
    was Always.

    > I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to
    interrupt her.

    > Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex
    drive by 90%.
    > It is Wedding Cake.

    > Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding
    Ring, Suffering.

    > Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me "what's on
    the TV?"
    > I said "Dust."

    > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then
    God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since
    then, neither God nor Man has rested.

    > Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law.

    > Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
    Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    > Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

    > Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
    the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
    they are beautiful.





    oneknight
    Moderator
    Posts: 1550
    (7/25/01 3:46:57 pm)
    | Del Re: Man Talk
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    FUNNY GUYS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 1275
    (7/27/01 2:19:07 pm)
    | Del Re: Man Talk
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    That's what I'm talkin bout Ron! Zakly that!
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.