MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by fedupdon, Apr 10, 2009.

  1. fedupdon

    fedupdon New Member

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    MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

    NICKNAMES





    * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    * If Matt, Dave and Bill go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.





    EATING OUT



    * When the bill arrives, Matt, Dave and Bill will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.





    MONEY



    * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.





    BATHROOMS



    * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel

    * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.





    ARGUMENTS



    * A woman has the last word in any argument.

    * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.





    FUTURE



    * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.





    SUCCESS



    * A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    * A successful woman is one who can find such a man.





    MARRIAGE



    * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.





    DRESSING UP



    * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.





    NATURAL



    * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.





    OFFSPRING



    * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
     
  2. satellite66

    satellite66 New Member

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    Those are good. Thanks
     

  3. Big ugly

    Big ugly New Member

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    I was snickerin over this post till my wife came into the room an read what I thought was a cute post. She whacked me in the head and said that the short people remoark was outta line. I then opened my mouth and said that since she is only 5 feet tall she falls into this catagoty since I am 6"3'. She whacked me again.
     
  4. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    i said it before and now again, we need a sad but true fourm.
     
  5. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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  6. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    lol...those are (mostly) so true! The one about women eating out and figuring the bill on a calculator...oh, my...who's been watching and taking notes?!

    Yeah! And what's up with THAT??