MILITARY HUMOR

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    Winter11
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    (8/13/01 2:27:17 pm)
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    MILITARY HUMOR
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    Sent to me by a friend in the Air Force, and another in the Marines…GOTTA HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!!


    US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

    I, (have someone recite your name for you), swear....uhhhh....high-and-tight....grunt...cammies....ugh...lots of women....OORAH! So Help Me CORPS.!

    Thumb Print and X_____________________Date _________________

    Witness Signature_____________________ Date_________________


    US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

    I (state your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really in the Military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training" <snicker> I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chairborne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. I consent to never being promoted (EVER) and understand that all those whom I made fun of yesterday will probably outrank me tomorrow. So Help Me God!

    Signature ____________________ Date_____________


    Yet another...


    Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said "those are deer tracks." The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks." The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.