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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Posts: 230
(6/6/01 9:27:28 am)
| Del All Navy Humor

One day a platoon of Marines are on patrol when they come upon a Sailor relaxing on top of a small hill. The Sailor puts his hands on his hips and screams out, "Do any of you seaweed sucking jarheads think you're man enough to take me on?"

The biggest Marine comes running up the hill, screaming back at the Sailor. When he gets to the top he simply plows into his foe and the two tumble down the other side of the hill, out of sight. There is the sound of a horrendous fight for a moment or two, and then all is quiet.

Soon, the Sailor reappears, quite untouched. He puts his hands on his hips and sneers, "Well, looks to me like one of you couldn't do it, how about the rest?"

The enraged Marine platoon leader sends his entire platoon (30 plus men) charging after the Sailor. They all go tumbling down the far side of the hill. After 15 minutes of screaming and yelling and cursing a lone, bloodied Marine crawls over the top of the hill.

The platoon leader yells up to his man, "What's going on up there?" The wounded Marine, with his last bit of breath, replies, "Sir, it's a -- a trap, sir. There's two of them!"


Posts: 231
(6/6/01 9:32:33 am)
| Del Re: Navy Humor
One Tough Marine

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet, he walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet, he walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.

The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

The general replied, "In Vietnam."


Posts: 21
(6/6/01 9:38:55 am)
| Del
Re: Navy Humor
That was a good one Stan - I've read about three different versions... one where the Marine beats up the Army and one where the Army beats up the Navy.... All are so funny....

Gotta love that all-in-good-fun rival goin' on.....

Posts: 806
(6/6/01 2:32:55 pm)
| Del Re: Navy Humor
Hahahahahaha! AH ME! Hahahahahaha! AHHH!
...and two hard boiled eggs.

Senior Chief Moderator III
Posts: 98
(6/6/01 5:46:39 pm)
| Del Re: Navy Humor
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the "trap" !!!! LOL!!

V.I.P. Member
Posts: 204
(6/6/01 10:45:38 pm)
| Del More Service Branch Humor :)
Some people just don't understand

An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35 lb. pack on his back, 15 lb weapon
in hand, after having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is shit."

An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45 lb. pack on his back,
weapon in hand, after having leaped from a hovering helicopter and marched 18
miles, and says with a smile, "This is good shit!"

A Marine lies in the mud, 55 LB pack on his back, weapon in hand, after
wading 2 miles through muddy ooze to shore, crawling through a swamp and
marching 25 miles at night through enemy positions, says with a grin, "This
is really great shit."

A Navy Seal, up to his nose in stinking bug-infested mud of a swamp, with a
65 LB pack on his back and weapons in both hands, after jumping from a high
altitude aircraft into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several
alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through rough brush to
assault an enemy position, says, "I love this shit!"

An Air Force officer, sitting in a reclining chair in his air conditioned
and carpeted BOQ room, says, "The cable's out? What kind of shit is this?"

Posts: 824
(6/7/01 11:53:10 am)
| Del Re: Navy Humor
Hahaha! Yeah!

By the way,do we have any Air Force here? Hope so!
...and two hard boiled eggs.
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