Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by TF118, Apr 8, 2003.

  1. TF118

    TF118 New Member

    Mar 24, 2003
    Dear President Bush:

    Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Iraq and let us do what comes naturally.

    Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

    We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.

    And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.

    We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We easily can survive months in the hostile terrain of Iraq or Afghanistan with no food at all!

    We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events. Finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

    Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan into a new government? Oh, please: we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years. We understand tribal warfare.

    Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it, with or without the government's help!

    Let us go and fight. The Taliban and Al Qaida hate women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their Godforsaken terrain.

    Sincerely, The Mature Women of the United States
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2003
    rawright54 likes this.
  2. arizonamailman

    arizonamailman Active Member

    Feb 23, 2014
    Whetstone AZ near Ft Huachuca
    On the other hand, take 1,000 women ; keep them together for 6 months ; their periods will synchronize ; drop them in the middle east ; imagine the massacre when their time of the month occurs.

  3. rawright54

    rawright54 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Mar 19, 2013
    Bullhead City, AZ
    The Army has known about this for years, and prefers women for desert combat. They fight at the drop of a hat, don't negotiate, and retain water.
  4. Jerryboy

    Jerryboy Well-Known Member

    Mar 8, 2012
    If we ever have to fight in India we should definitely send women. The Hindus worship cows. ;)
  5. Iron Eagle

    Iron Eagle Well-Known Member

    Feb 17, 2012
    Kinda like camels. LOL
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