Plane Talk

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Marlin, May 19, 2006.

  1. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mar 27, 2003
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    I borrowed this from ATF on Mauser. Hope you enjoy!!!!


    Subject: Plane Talk and more

    Aviation ....... Note:

    For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest airplane.

    In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.

    Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement
    across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground
    speed. "90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required
    the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud
    of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly
    transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout."

    There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground,
    Dusty." Another silent pause.

    As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a
    familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It
    was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew,
    for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a
    ground speed readout for us?"

    There was a longer than normal pause.... "Aspen, I show 1,742
    knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.


    In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
    request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller,
    with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
    60,000 feet?

    The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't
    plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.


    The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
    placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator,
    "Do you know what I use this for?"

    The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"

    The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart

    The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator
    replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."


    When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk
    helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign
    "broomstick one." And they say the Army has no sense of humor!


    Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta
    51:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"


    One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
    of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
    around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian
    in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane.
    Did you make it all by yourself?"

    Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."


    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
    because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." ATC
    told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one
    engine shut down.

    "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."


    A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
    attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
    last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."


    Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
    returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
    concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

    "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
    the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."


    "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center,
    we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

    "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727? [​IMG]
  2. inplanotx

    inplanotx Active Member

    Jan 28, 2002
    Gets better everytime! :eek: :eek: :eek: :D

  3. southernshooter

    southernshooter New Member

    Mar 5, 2006
    Deep South Mississippi
    :) the broom sticks the best :)
  4. Marlin T

    Marlin T Well-Known Member

    Jul 8, 2005
    New Mexico
    This is funny and kind of reminds me about bragging and how someone usually can show you up if you do. """ "Aspen, I show 1,742
    knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency."""

    "Broomstick one we are flying a crooked today, could you please give us our ground speed please?"

    "Broomstick one you are flying a little slower than usual, is everything OK?"

    "Everything is alright except the witch is slowing us down a little."

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: May 28, 2006
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