Rank & Military Humor

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

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    dap22
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    (8/31/01 8:55:49 am)
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    Rank & Military Humor
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    PASS-IN-REVIEW MINIATURES

    During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
    "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled
    alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

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    Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.
    " Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
    enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
    "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to
    hook up your telephone."

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    On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and
    civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells, if it is an Army aircraft (dap?), the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."

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    Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
    Soldier: Sure, buddy.
    Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it
    again.
    Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
    Soldier: No, SIR!

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    Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
    A: He'll tell you.
    Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
    A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
    Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
    A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

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    Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said, "Those are deer tracks." The second Marine said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
    The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

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    A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves - the barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
    The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife
    will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

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    "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief (JW?) to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman
    replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"



    nighthawk
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    (8/31/01 10:02:36 am)
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    LOL,,great ones Dave,,each and every one,,and true!!!!!,,lol